THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


IN  MEMORY  OF 
MRS.  VIRGINIA  B.  SPORER 


TWENTY-FIVE  LETTERS 


TO   A 


YOUNG  LADY. 


BY 

A.  P.  GRAVES,  D.  D., 

AUTHOR    OF 

"FROM  EARTH  TO  HEAVEN,"  AND    "DOWN   GRADE; 
A   BOOK  TO  SAVE  TEMPTED  YOUNG  MEN." 


SIXTH  EDITION. 


CHICAGO  AND  NEW  YORK : 

FAIRBANKS,  PALMER   &  CO. 

1884. 


COPYRIGHT. 

A.  P.  GRAVES,  D.  D. 

1879. 


TO    THE 

THOUSANDS  OK  YOUNG  LADIES 

WHOM  I  HAVE  INSTRUCTED  IN  THE  WAY  OF  HIGHER  MORAL- 
ITY, AND  SOUGHT  TO  LEAD  IN  THE  HEAVENLY 
PATH,  THESE  LETTERS  ARE  HUMBLY 
INSCRIBED  BY 

THE  AUTHOR. 


2041646 


Desiring  to  answer  some  important  and  practi- 
cal questions  which  are  daily  asked  by  many  young 
ladies,  I  have  prepared  this  series  of  letters.  Varied 
and  large  experience  in  my  profession  as  an  evan- 
gelist, has  urged  the  importance  of  such  a  suggest- 
ive volume.  From  my  niece  Etha  H.,  and  others, 
I  sought  questions  which  I  have  answered  in  this 
plain  way,  without  the  slightest  attempt  at  literary 
merit.  Limited  space,  and  fragments  of  time  for 
their  writing  amid  incessant  evangelistic  work, 
have  compelled  their  brevity.  May  they  be  serv- 
iceable to  thousands  of  young  ladies,  is  the  prayer 
of  the  author. 

A.  P.  G. 


CONTENTS. 

LETTER  I. 
WOMAN  SUPREME  AMONG  MEN 9 

LETTER  II. 
LOVE 14 

LETTER  III. 
SPHERES  OF  USEFULNESS 19 

LETTER  IV. 
CHOOSING  A    HUSBAND 23 

LETTER  Y. 
How  TO  TREAT  HIM  MORALLY 29 

LETTER  VI. 
IDEAS  OF  LIFE 34 

LETTER  VII. 
READING  THE  BIBLE 39 

LETTER  VIII. 
IDEAS  OF  PRAYER , , , , . , , , . , , , . , „ , , , , f ,  . , . ,   44 


Vi  CONTENTS. 

LETTEE  IX. 
Music 4:8 

LETTEE  X. 
STANDARD  OF  WOMANHOOD 52 

LETTEE  XI. 
WOMAN'S  EIGHTS 56 

LETTEE  XII. 
A  GOOD  HOME 61 

LETTEE  XIII. 
You  CAN  BE  A  TRUE  WOMAN 67 

LETTEE  XIY. 
MANNER  OF  DRESS 72 

LETTEE  XY. 
EMPLOYMENT  OF  YOUNG  LADIES 76 

LETTEE  XYI. 
EEADING 81 

LETTEE  XVII. 
FASHION 85 

LETTEE  XVIII. 

YOU  CAN  BENEFJT  YOUNG  Mw  Fmicjsrps, , , , ,   9J 


CONTENTS.  Vli 

LETTER  XIX. 
SKEPTICISM  OF  YOUNG  LADIES 98 

LETTER  XX. 

TREATMENT  OF  THE  UNFORTUNATE 104: 

LETTER  XXI. 
TEMPTATIONS  AT  SCHOOL Ill 

LETTER  XXII. 
TRUE  HAPPINESS 115 

LETTER  XXIII. 
CONSECRATION 121 

LETTER  XXIV. 
SUNDAY  SCHOOL  TRAINING 126 

LETTER  XXY. 
A  TRUE  WOMAN.  .  , .  130 


TWENTY-FIVE  LETTERS 

TO 

A  YOUNG  LADY, 


LETTER  I. 

WON  EM  SUPREME  AMONG  MEN. 

My  Dear  Niece: — You  have  urged  upon  me  a 
correspondence  expressing  to  you  raj  views  of  the 
worth  and  power  of  woman.  I  shall  aim  to  give 
you  as  much  thought  in  a  few  letters  as  my  knowl- 
edge and  time  will  allow,  and  hope  they  may  be  a 
benefit  to  you  and  others  of  your  sex  who  are  just 
starting  in  life.  Ask  any  questions  freely  and  fully. 
This  question:  "  What  constitutes  woman's  su- 
premacy? "  is  vast  and  potent  None  could  be 
more  so.  Eve  damned  the  world  and  Mary  gave 
to  us  a  Savior.  Some  object  to  this  view  and  say, 
do  not  charge  so  much  upon  the  woman ;  but  I  in- 
sist that  Eve  did  tempt  the  man,  and  that  he 
yielded  because  of  the  overpowering  influence  of 
the  woman.  And  such  has  been  the  case  from  that 
day  until  the  present.  Woman  has  held  the  balance 
of  power  for  good  or  evil  in  all  the  ages.  The  Eves 
and  the  Marys  have  influenced  the  character  of  men 


10  LETTERS   TO    A   YOUNG    LADY. 

more  than  all  other  created  bsings.  The  very  na- 
ture of  her  being  compels  her  supremacy.  Her 
affections  are  among  her  most  powerful  factors. 
These  are  enough  to  give  her  the  highest  position. 
No  other  bein»  ever  stood  thus.  Her  instinctive 

o 

adaptability  to  counsel  and  persuade  man,  surpasses 
that  of  all  other  beings.  And  where  was  there  ever 
a  minister,  lawyer,  educator,  congress  hall  or  uni- 
versity that  had  such  influence  over  man  as  a  mother, 
sister  or  wife?  It  is  true  and  cannot  be  gainsaid 
that  woman  is  supreme.  If  her  aims  and  chastity 
be  right,  and  her  life  pure,  she  is  so;  and  if  evil 
and  sin  has  seized  upon  her  being,  making  her 
powers  and  influence  wrong,  it  is  none  the  less  so. 
How  do  men  regard  women  in  relation  to  this 
supremacy?  I  will  tell  you.  They  feel  it  deeply 
and  continually.  They  cannot  avoid  it;  and  many 
rejoice  in  it  as  a  living  fact,  especially  those  who 
are  controlled  by  good,  wise  arid  virtuous  women. 
How  many  a  man  has  scaled  the  very  heights  of 
prosperity,  and  attained  position  in  religion,  wealth 
or  influence,  and  truly  and  justly  attributed  his 
standing  to  the  wise  counsel  and  influence  of  wo- 
man. And  how  many  a  poor  fallen  wretch  of  a 
man  has  drunk  the  cup  of  sorrow  to  its  very  dregs, 
when  a  woman  led  him  down.  She  was  irresistible. 
Her  influence  swept  away  his  resolutions  like  chaff 
before  the  wind.  I  do  not  say,  dear  Etha,  that 


WOMEN   SUPREME    AMONG    MEN.  11 

man  has  no  powers.  He  has.  They  are  gigantic; 
but  those  of  woman  are  more  so.  How  important, 
then,  that  she  be  right.  And  that  reminds  me  of 
your  question,  "  Does  piety  give  a  woman  a  higher 
rank  in  the  estimation  of  men?  "  Yes,  it  does. 
You  know,  Etna,  that  as  a  public  man  I  have  been 
brought  in  contact  with  masses  of  my  fellow 
men  of  all  conditions  and  callings  in  life  for  many 
years,  and  I  give  you  this  testimony,  that  I  have 
never  yet  seen  the  first  man  who  did  not  respect  a 
woman  more  for  herns:  a  Christian.  That  is,  if 

O  ' 

words  and  acts  are  evidence.  It  is  true  that  in- 
fidels, worldlings  and  fellows  of  the  baser  sort 
often  seek  to  lead  women  into  unbelief  and  sin; 
but  for  all  this,  when  I  have  sifted  this  matter,  I 
have  invariably  found  that  men  have  admired  the 
Christian  character  of  any  woman,  be  she  mother, 
sister,  wife  or  friend.  Even  if  he  were  next  to  a 
brute  her  charms  constrain  him  to  do  this.  Do 
women  realize  the  power  of  their  influence?  Some 
of  them  do  to  an  immense  extent;  but  others  are 
very  careless  about  the  matter.  And  I  must  tell 
you,  my  dear  niece,  you  could  not  have  asked  me  a 
more  vital  question,  "  Does  a  woman  realize  the 
power  of  her  influence?"  What  if  she  does  not, 
and  all  her  powers  are  let  loose  and  run  riot  like  a 
sweeping  wind  upon  the  prairie?  Wake  up,  young 
friend,  to  this  thought,  and  let  the  very  asking 


12         LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

arouse  in  you  a  purpose  to  understand  your  posi- 
tion. Surely  as  you  live  you  have  powers  about 
which  you  cannot  be  thoughtless  or  aimless.  Do 
you  know  this  is  the  bane  of  tens  of  thousands  of 
girls  in  our  day?  Education,  wealth,  friends  and 
grand  opportunities  are  all  about  them,  but  they 
are  utterly  careless  of  their  strength  and  life.  Be- 
stir thy  every  thought  and  "  know  thyself."  The 
endowments  of  your  heart  and  affections,  together 
with  moral,  mental  and  physical  powers,  are  not 
to  be  lightly  esteemed.  Well  would  it  be  for 
every  young  lady  and  the  world  about  her,  if  she 
would  study  to  realize  her  influence  and  use  it 
wisely.  This  is  the  great  need  of  the  hour  with 
American  girls.  Leaving  school  and  casting 
about  for  some  plan  to  employ  time  and  talent, 
what  thoughtlessness  there  is  as  to  the  best  way. 
How  much  at  this  important  period  should  she 
consider  her  powers  and  position,  "  woman  as 
God  made  her."  Potent  indeed  is  the  thought 

o 

at  which  you  aim  when  you  ask,  Can  a  young 
lady  overestimate  the  responsibility  devolving 
upon  her?  Impossible!  "  Aim  at  the  sun  if 
you  do  not  get  half  way  up,"  is  the  motto  that 
Borne  one  has  given  to  the  world.  It  is  good  for 
you,  and  every  young  lady  should  observe  it.  In- 
ferior motives,  circumstances  and  influences  may 
obtain  to  an  extent;  but  God  will  hold  her  respon- 
sible for  her  acts,  be  they  good  or  bad.  Her  respon. 


WOMEN  SUPBEME  AMONG  MEN.  13 

flibility  is  emphatically  her  own.  It  does  not 
belong  to  father,  mother,  sister  or  brother;  it  is  her 
own,  and  of  this  she  must  have  a  conception  to 
some  extent.  Overestimate!  What,  with  all  her 
powers,  mental  and  moral,  to  enjoy  untold  happi- 
ness or  to  endure  untold  misery  in  this  world,  and 
review  with  immortal  vision  all  the  bearings  of  her 
responsibility  in  the  world  to  come.  .No,  no,  my 
dear  niece,  there  can  be  no  overestimating  such  gifts, 
and  what  is  required  of  them.  Her  aspirations 
should  be  high  if  wisely  directed.  They  can  not 
be  too  much  so.  Of  course  you  know  I  could  not 
encourage  her  to  aspire  in  anything  to  work  her 
injury.  She  must  in  the  very  nature  of  the  case 
be  responsible  for  the  bad  as  well  as  the  good,  the 
wrong  as  well  as  the  right.  And  not  only  has  our 
Maker  given  instruction  to  guide,  but  the  example 
of  young  women  in  the  past  has  taught  its  striking 
lessons.  Some  of  them  are  grand,  others  are  sad, 
very  sad.  Then  note  your  responsibility  in  all 
your  aspirations,  and  take  such  steps  as  will  lead 
you  to  the  heights  of  happiness  and  not  the  depths 
ofsorrosv.  It  is  possible  for  every  young  lady  to 
tread  the  mountain  tops  of  power  and  blessing  such 
as  other  mortal  never  knew,  and  then  descend  to 
walk  the  banks  of  the  gently  flowing  river  of  sweet 
and  untold  affection,  as  it  is  possible  for  no  other 
being.  Earnestly,  YOUR  UXCLE. 


LETTEK  It 

LOVE. 

My  Dear  Niece: — Perhaps  you  do  not  compre- 
hend the  import  of  the  questions  you  have  asked 
me  about  love.  Sure  am  I,  however,  if  I  am  able 
to  give  you  even  a  hint  at  some  of  the  relations  of 
this  subject,  the  bearing  of  this  letter  upon  your 
life  will  not  be  in  vain.  Can  I  tell  you  the  foun- 
dation of  true  love?  Yes,  I  can.  But  let  me  tell 
you  first  what  it  is  not.  It  is  not  barely  human 
emotions  excited  by  the  passions  of  human  beings. 
It  is  not  the  gush  of  feeling  which  can  only  actuate 
a  cry  or  a  laugh,  a  tear  or  a  smile.  It  is  not  blind 
zeal,  impelled  by  the  inclinations  of  a  carnal  heart. 

But  it  is  an  element  in  our  nature,  God-given 
and  Godlike.  This  is  true  love,  and  will  never 
degenerate  unless  compelled  to  by  wilful  sin. 
There  may  be  natural  attachments  which  develop 
themselves  in  various  ways  among  men  and  beasts, 
but  this  is  not  what  we  are  talking  about.  Our 
theme  is  nobler,  grander,  and  worthy  alone  of  im- 
mortal beings  made  in  the  image  of  the  Divine 
Creator.  And  of  all  these  upon  the  earth,  the 
young  lady  has  her  loveliness  and  beauty.  Let  her 
u 


LOVE.  15 

recognize  and  prize  this  pure  and  strong  founda- 
tion, and  she  will  at  once  stand  high  in  the  scale 
of  her  being.  Do  you  see,  dear  Etha,  the  import 
of  this  question,  and  the  answer?  It  is  not  strange 
that  you  are  so  excited  about  solving  the  question 
of  love,  and  are  anxious  to  know  how  you  may 
avoid  the  contaminations  of  false  love  so  prevalent. 
Many  young  ladies  desire  this.  And  many  are 
decoyed  by  some  wily  foe  ere  they  are  aware  of  it. 
The  snares  are  numerous  and  cunning.  But  there 
is  no  need  that  a  girl  should  be  overtaken  by  false 
love.  She  has  the  balance  of  power  in  her  own 
hands.  Let  her  study  to  know  the  location  and 
force  of  true  love,  as  above  defined,  and  she  has  the 
first  lesson  of  her  defense.  The  almost  insurmount- 
able barrier  to  be  overcome  now  is,  the  debasing 
opinion  of  public  sentiment.  Let  me  mention  one 
feature  of  this  school:  The  dancing  of  the  times. 
I  mean  every  link  in  the  chain,  from  the  parlor 
dance  down  to  the  lowest  step  of  a  lewd  dance- 
house.  In  this  there  is  a  development  of  love. 
Not  Godlike,  but  manlike.  How  many  choice 
angel-like  young  ladies  enter  into  this  prac- 
tice, pure  in  motive  and  life,  only  to  graduate  amid 
the  false  contaminations  of  love?  And  they  are 
gone.  So  amid  a  hundred  kindred  practices  in  the 
whirling  schemes  of  worldly  vice.  No  young  lady 
can  afford  to  tarnish  her  love  in  this  way.  So  I 


16  LETTERS  TO  A  1*0  U^G    LAM*. 

say  if  you  would  avoid  these  contaminations,  guard 
well  every  avenue  and  risk  not  a  hair's  breadth  that 
would  imperil  the  sacredness  of  your  love,  for  this 
world  or  another. 

Will  not  high  respect  and  esteem  be  sufficient 
for  all  the  demands  of  married  life?  I  know 
this  question  would  have  to  do  with  many,  unless 
appearances  deceive.  But  I  answer  No,  emphat- 
ically No.  True  happiness  must  have  true  love. 
It  is  not  enough  for  a  wife  to  respect  her  husband, 
neither  for  the  husband  to  respect  the  wife.  They 
must  have  predominating  love.  Nothing  short  of 
this  will  fill  God's  design.  The  very  nature  of  the 
case  demands  this.  There  is  no  place  on  earth  that 
has  the  advantages  for  love  and  its  fruits  as  the 
home.  Then  do  not  let  down  the  standard  of  pure 
elevating  love  to  simple  respect  and  esteem. 

You  ask,  Is  the  power  of  love  fully  understood, 
No,  it  is  not.  As  well  might  we  say  that  no 
more  could  be  known  of  geography  or  astronomy. 
Its  resources  are  boundless  as  its  blessings.  And 
who  can  ever  tell  the  story  of  its  benefits?  The 
power  of  love  is  as  unsearchable  as  its  Creator.  And 
to  fully  understand  it  would  be  as  impossible  as  to 
drain  the  ocean  by  a  drop  at  a  time.  And  with 
this  instinctive  view,  I  might  well  expect  you  would 
ask  me,  With  what  safeguards  should  a  young  lady 
hedge  her  love?  First,  she  should  make  up  her 


LOVE.  17 

mind  to  hedge  it  at  all  hazards.  Purpose  in  this  is 
as  essential  as  a  fountain  to  a  large  river.  Let  a 
young  lady  know  her  love,  its  worth  and  power, 
and  then  determine  to  protect  it,  and  she  has  learned 
the  first  lesson  of  its  blessings  for  this  world  and 
another.  If  truly  blessed  herself,  she  will  want  to 
bless  others.  And  time  closely  occupied  with  use- 
ful labor  will  help  and  bless.  Love  can  be  formed 
for  labor  and  industry  as  well  as  for  the  foolish 
pastimes  of  earth.  "  Idleness  is  the  devil's  work- 
shop," is  the  adage.  And  our  young  ladies  are  in 
more  danger  from  having  no  well-directed  employ- 
ment of  time  and  talent,  than  from  anything  else. 
There  are  doubtless  exceptions  to  this,  but  they  are 
few.  Love  is  not  indolent,  but  active.  It  will  act. 
It  will  ascend  into  the  high  scale  of  noble  character, 
or  descend  into  the  low  avenues  of  selfishness  and 
sin,  just  where  you  please  to  put  it.  If  a  young 
lady  is  not  willing  to  enter  into  work  of  the  hardest 
and  of  everv  kind  at  home,  commanding  her  atten- 

«/  O 

tion  and  attachments  around  the  most  sacred  of 
all  altars,  she  is  in  danger.  She  will  be  likely  to 
use  her  home  as  a  sort  of  hotel,  a  stopping  place  of 
convenience  while  her  love  is  running  in  looseness 
after  the  fancies  of  the  world,  that  will  be  likely  to 
swallow  her  up  in  the  pitfalls  of  indolence  and  un- 
happiness.  Then  I  say,  dear  Etha,  would  you  be 
guarded  from  the  dangers  of  false  love,  have  soine- 


18          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

thing  to  do  at  home.  Let  the  hours  of  each  day 
have  their  allotment  of  care  and  duty.  This  every 
young  lady  in  every  department  of  life  should  have. 
It  will  be  sure  to  form  society  for  her,  and  mark 
out  a  path  of  life  that  will  develop  toward  her  the 
purest  love,  and  shield  her  from  the  false.  Yea, 
more,  it  will  lead  to  the  highest  spheres  of  action 
for  holiness  and  heaven. 

Perhaps  I  ought  to  say  before  closing  this  letter, 
that  mothers  are  often  fearfully  responsible  for  the 
contaminations,  by  false  love,  of  their  daughters. 
They  are  so  anxious  to  get  them  into  society,  and 
often  encourage  them  into  circles  of  vice  and  dan- 
ger. Better  school  them  at  home  in  industry  and 
hiojh  aims,  until  the  right  door  for  entertainment 
and  usefulness  shall  open.  May  this  sentiment  be 
studied,  and  arouse  some  coming  mothers  to  wise 
action.  Yea,  prove  a  blessing  to  some  coming 
young  ladies  when  my  pen  shall  cease  to  write. 

Lovingly  yours. 


LETTER  IIL 

SPHERES  OF    USEFULNESS. 

My  Dear  Niece: — I  am  glad  you  wish  me  to 
devote  one  letter  suggesting  some  things  to  help- 
you  to  be  useful.  The  desire  is  worthy  of  an  angel. 
Yes,  it  is.  Even  Jesus  "  took  upon  himself  the 
form  of  a  servant."  And  for  a  young  lady  to  be 
anxious  to  know  how,  and  by  what  means  she  may 
be  made  useful  is  notably  worthy.  I  wish  I  had 
no  occasion  to  intimate  that  there  are  exceptions  to 
this.  Alas,  it  is  too  true.  Yea,  the  exceptions  are 
numerous.  There  are  so  many  young  ladies  that  seem 
to  have  no  idea  of  spending  the  very  bloom  of  their 
lives  in  anything  but  fun  and  pastime.  It  is  too  bad, 
and  all  wrong.  Our  powers  for  good  to  bless  the 
world  are  just  as  valuable  in  youth  as  in  middle 
life  or  old  age.  I  do  not  mean  that  young  people 
should  not  have  proper  time  for  pleasure  and  hap- 
piness, but  against  young  ladies  going  forth  into 
society,  with  all  their  mighty  powers,  to  sow  seeds 
of  injury  to  themselves  and  others,  as  so  many  do, 
I  raise  my  pen  and  voice  in  most  earnest  protest. 
I  mean  our  young  ladies  of  intelligence  and  influ- 
ence. Those  who  mould  the  society  of  the  gay 

19 


20  LETTERS    TO   A  YOUNG  LADY. 

and  the  fashionable.  How  useful  they  might  be 
in  every  department  of  human  need.  And  what 
avenues  of  distress  are  crying  out  for  their  helping 
hand.  You  ask,  "  Has  not  each  one  a  special  mis- 
sion?" If  you  mean  has  not  God  some  good 
thing  for  every  young  lady  to  do,  I  answer  yes. 
Can  any  one  be  so  lost  to  the  instincts  of  an  im- 
mortal being  as  to  believe  that  a  single  one  has 
been  made  to  no  purpose?  No,  it  is  not  true. 
Every  one  has  a  talent  and  gifts  for  some  good 
sphere  of  action.  Think  of  a  young  lady,  by  her 
presence,  giving  countenance  to  the  gambling  pools 
of  a  horse  race,  the  bacchanalian  zeal  of  a  wine 
party,  the  card  circle  that  so  often  leads  in  the  way 
to  ruin,  and  the  theater,  always  demoralizing.  Is 
she  thus  in  a  sphere  of  usefulness?  Is  this,  or  can 
it  possibly  be,  the  mission  of  a  single  young  lady? 
Think  and  answer. 

Then  I  can  only  say,  while  talents  and  circum- 
stances may  differ,  every  young  lady  should  find 
her  place  and  fill  it.  "  Can  others  do  our  work?  " 
This  is  a  potent  question.  One  person  cannot, 
certainly,  fill  the  place  of  another.  As  well  might 
one  young  lady  undertake  to  marry  a  husband  for 
another.  When  you  were  in  school  you  could  not 
learn  the  history  or  Latin  lesson  for  another. 
Every  acquisition  had  to  be  your  own.  So  in  each 
department  of  life,  each  duty  must  be  your  own. 


SPHERES   OF    USEFULNESS.  21 

And  no  young  lady  need  wait  or  look  long  for  work- 
in  philanthropy,  the  sick,  the  poor,  the  sorrowing, 
the  cast-down,  the  dejected,  the  distressed,  and  the 
lost,  are  ever  stretching  out  their  hands  for  help 
and  comfort.  And  I  hold  that  there  is  no  class 
that  can  minister  to  such  needy  ones  as  well  as 
young  ladies  can.  Capable  of  fine,  buoyant  affec- 
tions, with  the  tender  instincts  of  a  woman  and 
gentleness  of  loving  hearts,  they  can  soothe,  com- 
fort and  bless  as  no  other  can.  And,  dear  Etha, 
the  world  all  around  you  is  crying  out  for  your 
blessing.  Let  every  young  lady,  who  feels  that 
she  has  been  educated  barely  to  speak  correctly 
and  appear  intelligent,  and  her  daily  business  is 
for  adornment  and  to  show  herself,  stop  and  listen. 
She  will  soon  hear  some  plaintive  voice  of  man, 
woman,  or  child,  calling,  "Help  me,  feed  me,  give 
drink  to  my  parched  lips,  shelter  me,  clothe  me, 
teach  me,  or  give  me  a  kind  word  in  my  sorrow." 
If  it  is  in  your  power  to  relieve,  to  say,  "That  is  a 
tramp,"  or,  "They  do  not  deserve  help,"  or,  "Some 
other  can  do  it,"  will  not  answer.  You  are  the 
one  called,  and  to  you  God  has  given  this  mission. 
I  do  feel  that  I  cannot  impress  this  idea  of  per- 
sonal duties  too  strongly  upon  your  youthful  heart. 
What  is  success  in  the  usefulness  of  a  young  lady? 
This  must  be  measured  in  varied  ways.  All  things 
iu  this  world  are  done  imperfectly.  But  to  do  all 


22  LETTERS   TO    A   YOUNG    LA.DT. 

she  can  and  the  best  she  can  in  whatever  be  Ker 
calling,  must  be  at  least  a  showing  of  success. 
Can  she  be  fitted  mentally  for  professional  life? 
Some  can  and  ought  to  be.  But  I  will  treat  more 
of  this  in  another  letter.  Should  a  young  lady 
despise  manual  labor f  Never.  This  is  a  fact  that 
every  father,  mother  and  daughter  ought  to  learn. 
If  she  is  willing  to  do  this,  and  knows  how,  even 
if  circumstances  do  not  require  it,  it  will  do  no 
harm.  But  how  much  misery  the  opposite  notion 
has  caused.  In  wealth  one  day  and  poverty  the 
next,  how  many  a  young  woman  has  been  compelled 
to  dismiss  her  servants  and  take  her  place  in  the 
kitchen  to  do  the  things  she  has  hated  and  of  which 
she  is  entirely  ignorant.  And  a  mother  that  will 
bring  up  her  daughter  that  way  ought  never  to  be 
permitted  the  privilege  of  looking  upon  an  inno- 
cent, smiling  girl  in  the  cradle.  I  care  not  if  she 
is  worth  her  millions.  Some  day  she  may  exchange 
the  palace  for  a  log  cabin.  And  if  she  does  not  it 
may  become  the  lot  of  her  daughter. 

Most  truly  yours. 


LETTER  IV. 

CHOOSING  A  HUSBAND. 

My  Dear  Niece'. — So  you  are  thinking  of  get- 
ting married  are  you?  "Well,  that  is  nothing 
strange.  Just  like  young  ladies!  And  it  is  all 
right.  God  designed  it  should  be  so.  But  I  must 
tell  you,  my  dear  Etha,  that  my  heart  has  been 
stirred  to  its  depths  for  years  over  the  painful  des- 
olations of  unwise  and  unhappy  relations  in  the 
marriage  of  not  a  few.  I  shall  answer  your  ques- 
tions in  this  letter,  in  substance  as  I  have  long  ad- 
vised young  ladies  in  the  choice  of  a  husband  and 
a  home.  And  I  must  tell  you  the  choice  is  yours 
and  not  the  men's.  You  and  others  may  dissent 
from  this  position.  But  look  one  moment.  Think, 
consider,  and  you  will  see.  "Popping  the  ques- 
tion," proposing  marriage,  whiling  away  a  few 
evenings  in  courtship,  taking  a  ride  or  a  walk,  or 
exchanging  a  few  love  letters  are  a  very  small  part 
of  the  subject  in  hand.  And  this  leads  me  to  your 
first  question,  "How  shall  I  choose  a  hitsband?  " 
First,  consider  what  you  are  about  to  do.  And 
above  all  recognize  the  institution  of  marriage  as 
divine.  God  made  it.  It  is  not  a  thing  of  human 

23 


24          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

genius,  or  for  the  blind  behests  of  human  pastime 
and  pleasure.  It  is  not  to  barely  gratify  the  whim 
of  man's  notions,  like  the  contract  to  work  a  farm, 
build  a  house  or  to  enter  into  mercantile  business. 
Neither  is  it  the  mere  plaything  that  many  boys 
and  girls  seem  to  think.  No,  no!  it  is  God-given, 
and  when  rightly  viewed  and  entered  into,  it  will 
be  God-honored  by  purity  and  blessedness.  But 
the  saddest  feature  of  domestic  life  in  our  country 
to-day  is,  that  so  many  choose  marriage  in  the  care- 
less sin  of  human  indulgence.  Many  a  girl  who  is 
pure,  and  lovely,  and  pious,  and  has  consecrated  her 
life  upon  some  sacred  church  altar,  makes  a  wreck 
of  herself  because  she  failed  to  comprehend  the 
true  relations  and  objects  of  marriage.  Possibly 
her  mother  may  have  been  more  culpable  than  her- 
self, but  there  is  fearful  blame  somewhere.  The 
first  principles  being  overlooked,  of  course  all  is 
wrong  and  disaster  follows.  And  no  marvel  that 
she  sorrows  and  weeps  away  the  very  years  of  her 
young  womanhood  over  the  desolation  of  what 
should  have  been  a  happy  home.  But  her  home  is 
just  what  she  has  made  it.  I  insist,  it  is  the  woman 
that  makes  the  choice  of  the  husband  and  the 
home.  The  man  is  the  instrument,  and  she  wields 
it.  He  may  be  a  man  of  mind,  influence  and 
strength,  but  when  he  offers  his  hand  to  a  young 
lady,  that  moment  and  onward  she  has  the  balance 


CHOOSING   A    HUSBAND.  25 

of  power.  This  is  in  the  nature  of  the  case.  If  she 
takes  a  stand  then,  and  maintains  it,  to  avoid  such 
things  as  would  debase  his  nature,  habits,  and  life, 
such  as  Sunday  rides,  card,  wine,  and  other  parties  of 
doubtful  influence,  theaters,  ball-rooms,  club-houses 
and  the  like,  false  words,  dishonest  habits  and  prac- 
tices, and  in  a  word  unhallowed  associations,  she 
has  gone  a  long  way  in  at  least  a  happy  direction. 
The  way  is  now  prepared  for  her  to  enter  and  tread 
the  road  that  has  made  many  a  home  almost  a  very 
heaven  upon  earth.  I  say  then  to  you  as  a  young 
lady,  do  not  let  down  the  standard  at  the  very  be- 
ginning. God  designed  that  young  men  and  women 
should  marry  and  find  their  happiness  in  each  other, 
and  in  the  home,  and  not  in  the  vain  unsatisfying 
pastimes  of  earth.  Furthermore,  to  ascend  high  in 
the  scale  of  domestic  bliss,  you  should  have  great 
care  for  hallowed  communion  with  God,  and  the 
man  of  your  choice.  Pray  over  the  matter,  and 
that  too  during  social  visits  and  counsel.  If  God 
has  given  this  institution  and  relation,  he  should 
certainly  be  counseled  in  its  forming.  And  just 
here  I  remember  you  asked  me  "  If  it  is  wise  to 
marry  a  man  who  is  otherwise  worthy,  but  is  a 
skeptic?  "  I  suppose  you  mean  if  she  wish  to  lead 
a  Christian  life.  I  must  say  no.  Many  a  woman 
has  done  this  to  her  sorrow.  He  may  be  honest  as 
a  citizen,  and  provide  well  for  his  family.  But 


26  LETTERS   TO   A   YOUNG   LADY. 

correct  social  and  moral  sentiments  make  up  true 
happiness.  If  he  be  skeptical  about  God  and  his 
word,  to  feign  harmony  and  happiness  with  him 
would  be  only  a  miserable  failure  of  pretention. 
You  also  ask  me,  "If  a  man,  will  not  give  up  bad 
Jiabits  before  marriage  can  he  be  expected  to  after- 
ward?" Observation  of  facts  compels  me  to 
answer  in  the  negative.  The  young  lady  who  risks 
this  does  it  at  her  peril.  And  our  whole  land  in 
city  and  country  is  one  vast  charnel  house  of  pain- 
ful evidence  to  this.  Divorces,  misery,  distracted 
homes,  wives,  husbands  and  children  disgraced  and 
sad,  are  on  every  hand  as  the  fruit  of  such  presump- 
tion by  our  fairest  and  most  lovely  young  ladies. 
If  a  young  lady  will  not  reform  a  young  man  be- 
fore marriage,  there  is  little  hope  that  she  can  do 
it  afterward.  The  chances  are  vastly  against  her. 
And  this  is  the  lesson  of  the  age  for  our  girls  to 
learn.  Lesson  of  infinite  importance!  And  those 
who  have  learned  it  have  become  happy  wives, 
good  mothers  and  pillars  in  society.  Young  ladies 
are  the  teachers  of  young  men.  They  may  not  be 
aware  of  this,  but  it  is  nevertheless  true.  They 
weave  about  them  an  influence  that  compels  and 
controls.  And  I  believe  that  when  this  influence 
is  wrong,  it  has  more  to  do  in  demoralizing  our 
young  men  than  any  other  power.  Many  young 
ladies  want  to  attend  the  theater,  the  dance,  and  th§ 


CHOOSING  A  HUSBAND.  27 

circus,  and  go  on  Sunday  rides.  Of  course  the 
young  men  are  expected  to  pay  the  tickets  and  liv- 
ery bills.  Most  of  them  have  small  salaries.  And 
when  young  ladies  have  led  them  on  in  this  kind  of 
dissipation,  they  are  just  prepared  for  the  billiard 
hall  and  club-room  at  their  leisure  hours  when  they 
are  not  with  the  girls.  This  squanders  their  money, 
demoralizes  their  habits,  and  not  unfrequently  leads 
them  to  pilfer  the  drawer  of  the  store  for  extra 
dollars.  So,  many  of  them  go  down  and  often  end 
their  lives  homeless,  friendless,  and  in  the  darkest 
night,  while  others  marry,  but  after  having  gradu- 
ated from  such  a  school,  under  the  tutorage  of  those 
who  should  have  given  better  instruction,  make  a 
wretched  home  and  eke  out  a  miserable  existence. 
This  is  no  fancy  sketch.  The  very  wails  of  society 
are  uttered  in  its  confirmation.  But,  my  dear  Etha, 
glance  an  instant  at  the  other  and  brighter  side  of 
the  picture.  There  is  a  happier  view  and  a  sure  way 
to  reach  it.  A  way  strewn  with  roses  and  fragrant 
as  the  refreshing  air  of  a  spring  morning.  It  is 
this.  Let  a  young  lady  make  up  her  mind  to  shun 
everything  that  would  vitiate  the  morals  of  society, 
and  apply  with  all  her  might  all  influence  possible  to 
elevate  and  make  noble  the  minds  of  men,  and  she 
will  at  the  proper  time  and  place  find  what  she 
seeks,  a  happy  home.  This  is  the  only  safe  way. 
$pw?  I  will  close  this  letter  by  reverting  to  vour 


28  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

questioi ,  "  What  will  she  doy  if  in  choosing  she 
make  a  mistake?"  I  can  not  tell.  This  is  a  ques- 
tion that  vast  numbers  of  girls  once  fair  and  lovely, 
but  now  with  crushed,  broken  hearts,  ask  amid  the 
sighs  of  a  wretched  home.  Some  may  have  been 
deceived,  but  many  of  them  never  ought  to  have 
come  to  this.  They  willfully  made  their  mistake 
with  their  eyes  wide  open.  This  much  I  can  say, 
however,  I  always  pity  such  in  the  bottom  of  my 
heart,  and  let  me  say  to  you  and  every  other  young 
lady,  beware,  be  wise,  be  careful. 

Yours  with  interest. 


LETTER  Y. 

HOW  TO  TEE  A  T  HIM  MORALLY. 

My  Dear  Niece : — This  letter  opens  a  vast  field ; 
and  were  I  capable,  I  am  aware  many  things 
might  be  said  in  it  well  worthy  of  an  angel.  There 
are  so  many  items  of  interest  and  profit  that  clus- 
ter around  the  married  life,  that  a  hint  at  even  the 
most  vital  points  can  hardly  be  given  in  a  single 
letter.  "  Will  he  look  for  an  example?  "  I  know 
not  whether  he  will  look  for  it  or  not,  but  he  will 
get  it.  Example  is  inevitable  with  every  living 
soul;  and  it  only  requires  time  for  every  wife  to 
make  this  felt  by  her  husband  and  children.  A 
good  example  will  be  admired  in  all  days,  present 
and  future;  a  sad  one  will  be  deplored.  "/«  not 
this  of  more  importance  than  choosing  him?"  In 
some  respects  it  may  be.  It  is  certainly  of  im- 
perative importance.  "Who  can  tell  the  weight 
and  consequences  of  a  bad  example;  and  what 
untold  gratitude  has  flowed  from  the  heart  of  a 
husband  and  father,  and  from  sons  and  daughters, 
for  the  hallowed  example  of  a  good  mother?  No 
tongue  can  tell,  or  pen  can  write,  the  importance  of 
this.  This  is  the  moral  lever  of  the  world  to-day ; 

29 


30  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

and  its  controlling  influence  lies  in  the  powers  of 
a  young  mother.  Seldom  does  a  woman  set  the 
example  she  ought,  if  she  does  not  begin  young. 

"  Does  not  the  moral  nature  respond  most  affec- 
tionately to  kind  treatment?" 

"Like  begets  like,"  is  a  saying  among  men;  and 
I  apprehend  there  is  no  place  where  this  is  more 
true  than  with  a  wife  and  her  husband.  Of  course, 
no  man  that  has  the  instincts  and  courage  of  a 
manly  heart  is  pleased  to  see  a  wife  constantly 
demean  herself  in  what  is  termed  "cleverness." 
He  wants  to  see  her  stand  forth  with  the  dignity  of 
a  woman — firm,  but  kind;  and  to  this  his  heart 
will  respond  with  admiration  and  profit.  This  is 
often  the  secret  of  a  woman's  power;  and  before 
it  the  cold  and  chilly  nature  of  her  husband  will 
melt  and  bow,  not  only  into  submission  but  blessed- 
ness. There  is  a  sense  in  which  many  a  woman 
can  put  herself  firmly  in  a  right  position  before 
her  husband,  and  yet  in  the  deepest  affection.  If 
she  loved  him  less,  she  would  be  less  firm  and 
affectionate.  And  do  you  suppose  he  would  look 
upon  such  a  wife,  and  such  acts  in  her,  without  re- 
spect? Nay,  he  would  prize  her  as  a  jewel.  But 
there  is  a  possibility  of  a  wife's  taking  the  opposite 
course  in  word  and  act.  She  is  irritable  and 
unkind;  and  that,  too,  when  she  thinks  she  is  an 
affectionate  wife.  Strange  is  her  deportment,  and 


HOW  TO  TREAT  HIM  MORALLY.        81 

nnhappy  her  influence.  I  have  heard  such  try  to 
excuse  themselves  "  on  account  of  health,  or  because 
it  was  their  way."  This  is  no  apology.  If  a 
woman  wants  a  happy  home  filled  with  gentleness 
and  affection,  she  must  make  it.  She  must  be  mis- 
tress of  this  school.  And  if  such  treatment  does 
not  win  the  husband  and  children  to  fill  her  heart 
with  joy  nothing  will.  But  just  here  let  me  answer 
your  question  :  "  Are  not  faultfinding  and  in- 
difference the  cause  of  muck  misery  f  "  This  is 
the  other  side  of  the  picture,  and  I  answer,  they  are, 
and  cannot  fail  to  be.  Changing  the  phraseology 
of  Scripture  a  little,  it  is  here  clearly  seen  that 
whatsoever  a  woman  sows,  that  shall  she  also  reap. 
Yes,  "  misery;"  it  is  the  cause  of  much  misery. 
No  man  can  bear  scolding  from  his  wife.  He  may 
deserve  it  many  times  over;  but  a  woman,  and  a 
wife  at  that,  is  certainly  not  the  one  to  administer 
it,  unless  it  is  thoroughly  tempered  with  love.  God 
made  her  to  love,  and  when  she  deports  herself 
otherwise  she  is  like  a  man  trying  to  walk  with  a 
broken  limb,  or  a  bird  trying  to  fly  with  cropped 
wings.  Some  may  say  they  are  constituted  with 
an  irritable  disposition.  Then  let  them  send  it  to 
school  and  learn  the  art  of  control.  There  are 
some  other  very  important  points  about  which  yon 
ask,  that  I  must  not  overlook.  "  Should  a  wife 
talk  familiarly  with  her  husband  about  religious 


32  LETTERS   TO   A   YOUNG   LADY. 

matters?  "  To  answer  this  in  the  negative  would 
be  as  unwise  as  so  send  children  for  moral  instruc- 
tion to  a  school  of  infidels.  It  is  just  here  vital 
mistakes  are  made.  So  many  compel  themselves 
to  believe  that  this  is  a  task  they  cannot  perform. 
They  can.  It  only  needs  decision,  as  in  every  other 
important  duty.  Did  you  ever  notice  that  Satan's 
temptations  are  the  most  subtle  on  the  most  im- 
portant points?  This  is  one  of  them.  The  wife 
should  often  draw  out  her  husband  on  religious 
questions,  not  as  a  jocose  or  incidental  matter,  but 
of  earnest  interest.  True,  if  he  is  an  unbeliever,  it 
may  be  distasteful.  This  is  a  good  way  to  win 
him,  however,  if  it  is  done  wisely,  decidedly  and  in- 
telligently. But,  if  a  Christian,  this  can,  and 
should  be  made  a  frequent  delight;  and  I  know 
of  nothing  that  can  more  soothe  or  bless  a  man. 
Let  me  add  also  upon  this  point,  there  is  a  fruitful 
neglect  of  prayer  with  their  husbands  on  the  part 
of  many  wives.  I  know  of  no  influence  so  good 
upon  the  husband  as  for  the  wife  to  pray  vocally 
with  him.  I  am  glad  you  have  asked  me  in  refer- 
ence to  reading  :  "  Should  she  be  careful  to  have 
only  pure  literature  in  the  home?  "  What  a  vital 
question,  touching  the  morals  of  every  member  of  the 
family.  Good  reading  is  to  the  mind  what  good  food 
is  to  the  body.  The  mind  will  be  active,  and  must  be 
fed  with  something;  and  a  cultivation  of  reading  ia 


IIOW     TO    TRKAT    III.M    MoJi.ULY.  33 

pre  eminentlv  important.  The  kind  of  reading 
chosen  should  always  be  selected  for  profit.  It  is 
not  enough  to  read  barely  for  interest,  but  one 
must  read  for  benefit.  Who  does  not  know  that 
numbers  of  children  have  been  ruined  by 
reading  bad  literature,  and  how  many  a  child  and 
home  has  been  blessed  by  care  in  this  matter. 

In  some  subsequent  letter  I  will  say  more  to 
fou  about  the  reading  of  young  ladies. 

Yours  faithfully. 


LETTER  YL 

IDEAS  OF  LIFE. 

My  Dear  Niece: — A  young  man  said  to  me  r 
long  ago:  "  A  young  man  can  hardly  find  a  you: 
lady  with  whom  he  can  spend  an  evening  and 
benefited  by  intelligent  conversation  and  infinenc 
The  girls  are  always  talking  about  the  gossip  of  t 
town,  who  was  married  last,  parties,  pleasures  ai 
fanciful  things  of  life."  He  was  a  young  man  < 
twenty-two,  a  graduate  from  a  State  University,  ji 
entering  a  professional  life,  brilliant,  buoyant,  h 
morons  and  full  of  social  qualities,  and  a  Christian 
close  observer  of  men  and  things,  and  one  who  h; 
evidently  commenced  life  with  a  purpose  to  ma 
a  good  mark  in  the  world.  But  he  had  no  hel 
meet  by  his  side.  Where  should  he  look  for  one 
fill  the  vacant  chair,  speak  the  intelligent  woi 
and  give  the  cheering  smile.  Surely,  you  w: 
agree  with  me  when  I  say  there  are  girls  enong 
and  many  of  them  have  had  the  best  of  education 
advantages.  Money  enough  has  been  spent  up< 
them,  and  they  have  been  to  school  long  enough 
know  something  and  make  grand  use  of  thatknov 
edge.  I  hardly  think  you  will  say:  "Dear  unc 

84 


IDEAS  OF  LIFE.  35 

he  should  not  have  made  that  remark."  No,  for 
young  as  you  are,  you  know  full  well  that  every 
grade  and  location  of  society  gives  too  much  reason 
for  it.  Before  I  close  this  letter  I  may  give  some 
of  the  causes  of  this  sad  state  of  things.  But  let 
me  treat  a  little  on  the  capabilities  of  a  young 
woman.  There  is  no  need  that  she  live  without 
proper  ideas  of  life,  or  that  with  her  they  be  meager. 
I  do  not  believe  God  has  ever  given  a  young  lady 
a  responsibility  in  life  she  cannot  bear,  and  in 
bearing  it  be  useful  and  happy.  True,  talents  ma}r 
differ,  and  some  be  weak  minded,  but  our  Creator 
requires  nothing  of  us  we  can  not  do.  The  truth 
is,  so  many  are  unwilling  to  do  what  they  can  to 
bless  themselves  and  others,  but  are  ever  ready  to 
enter  into  schemes  to  their  hurt  and  altogether  pre- 
vent the  design  of  their  being,  and  the  object  of 
their  education.  lam  not  willing  to  admit  that  the}' 
are  the  weaker  vessel.  I  never  was  and  never  ex- 
pect to  be.  I  do  not  believe  it  is  true.  .They  may 
be  gentle,  affectionate,  and  even  timid,  but  this 
rather  enhances  than  destroys  their  powers.  Wo- 
man is  strong  in  influence,  and  how  she  can  grace 
and  mold  society  to  elevation  and  strength  if  she 
will.  Now  to  your  question:  "What  ideas  of 
life  would  you  enumerate  as  necessary  to  make  a 
woman  happy  and  useful?  " 

1.  Considerately  and  with  the  greatest  care  settle 


36  LETTERS   TO    A     YOCNG    LADY. 

the  question   of  your   worth  as   a   woman.     Sti 
your  relation  to  your  sex  and  to  the  world. 

2.  Make  up  yonr   mind    at  the    beginning 
life  that  wealth,  whether  you  have  it  or  not,  can 
lay  the   foundation   of  your  character.     You  in 
have  a  character  not  only  of  purity,  but  of  deci< 
moral   and    intelligent    bearing.     So     many   g 
seem  to  think  if  they  have  wealth  it  is  enough, ; 
by  this  false  idea,  life  becomes  a  blank. 

3.  If  you  have  wealth   consecrate  it  to  the  1 
of  purposes. 

4.  Cultivate  unselfishness  as  much  as  possible 

5.  Decide   in  the  earliest  years   of   your  yoi 
womanhood  to  hunt  out  and  travel  every  avenue 
need  you  can  find  to  bless  somebody. 

6.  Make  the  world  as  beautiful  as  ^you  can  wl 
you  live. 

7.  Shun  the  foolish  notion  that  you  cannot  be 
to  be  useful  while  you  are  young,  because  yon  in 
have  some  fun  and    folly.     If  a  young   pcrs.m 
capable  of  more  happiness  in  worldly  pleasure  tl 
an  older,  then  certainly  he  is  more  capable  of 
in  usefulness  than  an  older  person  can  be.     "  It 
not  a  <//•«' f   <>nl  that  so   little  is  iiicorpornt-'il  /' 
ilf,  educational   a<lr<ini<i<j,'x    of  a  y»uny  l<«!ij 
give  her  the  practical  ideas  of  life.'  " 

There   can    be    no   question    of    it.     A    vohi 
might  well  be  written  upon    this.     It  is  too  t 


IDKAS    OF    LIKE.  37 

that  the  tendency  to  educate  her  in  the  books  and 
St  her  to  fill  every  sphere  of  life  by  brain  work,  is 
sadly  defective.  And  as  the  people  of  a  great 
Country  i'nll  of  promise,  we  shall  never  reach  the 
j;oul  of  health  and  siren  -th  we  ought  until  our 

~  O 

girls  learn  the  wisdom  of  physical  as  well  as  mental 
service.  The  greatest  evil  is  that  the  idea  of  wash- 
tubs,  house-cleaning,  scrubbing  floors,  blacking 
stoves,  washing  dishes,  baking  bread,  broiling  meat, 
ind  loing  the  hardest  kind  of  home  work,  does  not 
2nter  into  the  idea  of  her  education.  But  lily 
fingers  loaded  with  gold  rings,  pale  faces,  slender 
[onus  tightly  laeed,  and  an  intellect  trained  to  think 
a,  little  about  the  teachings  of  a  few  text  books, 
makes  np  the  education.  What  a  farce  on  the  de- 
sign of  human  life.  A  soul  without  a  body.  First 
af  all,  the  labor  of  housework  should  be  made  hon- 
orable, in  such  a  way  that  wealth  or  no  wealth} 
r>ur  girls  should  feel  it  a  pleasure,  a  privilege,  and  a 
duty  to  go  into  the  kitchen  and  engage  in  every 
Me  way  in  the  duties  of  the  house;  and  I  be- 
lieve that  not  a  few  mothers  are  wronging  them- 
selves and  perpetrating  a  positive  injury  upon  many 
a  daughter  because,  for  sundry  reasons,  they  exclude 
them  from  the  housework,  or,  in  other  words,  do 
not  train  them  into  it.  I  would  not  have  a  woman 
become  a  drudge  to  the.  man,  or  the  young  ladies 
enter  into  slavery  when  they  marry.  But  let  them 


38  LETTERS  TO   A   YOUNG   LADY. 

be  educated  to  fill  every  place  in  practical  life 
with  suitable  books,  at  the  piano,  the  pen,  the  wash 
tub,  the  broom,  the  gridiron  and  the  needle,  am 
then  fill  it  whenever  and  wherever  opportunity 
offers.  Affectionately, 

YOUR  UNCLE. 


LETTER   VII. 

READING  THE  BIBLE. 

I 
My  Dear  Niece: — You  have  asked  me  several 

important  questions  upon  this  most  vital  of  all 
subjects,  the  reading  of  the  Bible.  The  destiny  of 
armies  of  young  ladies  has  been  sealed  by  the  read- 
ing or  neglecting  of  this  Book  of  books.  I  know 
full  well  that  this  book  has  been  assailed  by  infi- 
dels of  all  ages,  and  much  has  been  said  and  writ- 
ten against  it.  Nevertheless,  it  stands.  And  it 
will  continue  its  conquests  and  victories  against 
the  crusades  of  darkness  and  opposition  until  the 
end  of  time.  This  much  I  believe,  and  have  a 
right  to  believe.  There  are  reasons:  there  are  evi- 
dences; there  are  overwhelming  proofs 'which  com- 
pel me  to  believe  the  Bible.  I  hand,  my  dear  Etha, 
this  faith  over  to  you,  and  assuming  that  you  ac- 
cept it,  I  proceed  to  tell  yon  some  things  you  wish 
to  know.  How  shall  I  read  it?  With  a  deep 
purpose  to  believe  every  word  of  it,  for  profit 
and  pleasure,  whether  you  understand  it  all  or  not. 
This  you  do  in  many  other  things,  all  the  facts  and 
nature  of  which  you  do  not  understand.  Why  not 


40  LETTERS   TO   A    YOUNG    LADi'. 

the  Bible?  "When  yon  read  about  flowers,  plants, 
mathematical  principles,  astronomy,  geology,  and 
physiology,  yon  can  trace  each  point  so  far,  and  no 
further.  It  is  left  in  mystery.  But  yon  believe 
it  and  get  some  delight  and  benefit  for  secular  and 
physical  purposes,  bo  when,  on  the  same  reason- 
able ground  and  conclusions,  you  accept  and  read 
the  Bible,  what  blessed  delight  it  brings  to  the 
sonl,  and  how  it  lifts  before  the  vision  of  your  faith 
the  glories  of  the  beyond.  I  say,  then,  believe  it 
as  you  read  it,  as  God's  word.  It  will  feast  your 
soul,  and  bless  you  as  no  other  book  can.  In  ref- 
erence to  your  desire  to  know  "  What  helps  are 
best  to  establish  the  mind  in  divine  truth?  "  I  an- 
swer: First,  read  the  Bible  prayerfully.  That  is, 
ask  the  Lord  to  grant  you  his  spirit  and  illuminate 
your  heart  to  receive  his  word  to  bless  yourself  and 
others.  There  are  commentaries  and  text  books 
about  reading  the  Bible,  with  topical  plans,  which 
are  good  helps.  But  I  know  of  no  helps  so  good 
as  reading  and  comparing  scripture  with  scripture. 
And  this  I  would  recommend  as  a  daily  plan  for 
every  yonng  lady.  But  I  am  deeply  interested  in 
your  inquiry,  "  What  motive  should  incite  me  to 
read  this  lookf  "  Motive  of  action  and  course  is 
the  vital  thing  of  every  person's  life.  And  in  this 
thing  it  should  be  pure  and  determined.  To  get 
good  and  do  good  ought  ever  to  be  in  the  heart  as  a 


K!:.U>I\(,  THK   IJIIJLE.  41 

fixed  principle  of  till  who  study  the  holy  word. 
Mr.  Geo.  Mullor,  the  great  European  philanthro- 
pist,  says:  "  My  object  in  reading  the  word  of 
God  is,  in  the  first  place,  to  get  good  to  my  own 
soul."  This  is  right.  For  one  to  ever  read  in  spec- 
ulation and  with  a  view  to  dealing  out  doctrines  to 
others,  would  be  like  one's  always  eating  breakfast 
or  dinner  for  somebody  else.  When  you  or  any 
other  young  lady  are  edified,  strengthened,  and  in- 
trivsted  in  reading  the  Bible,  you  are  ready  to 
scatter  the  same  light  and  knowledge  to  others. 
But,  above  all,  you  are  to  have  a  motive  to  diffuse 
it  in  your  own  home.  "  Do  I  think  the  read<ixj 
of  the  Bible  will  create  skepticism,  in  the  mind  of 
a  yoiuty  la<lij.J  "  It  can  not,  if  read  with  honesty 
of  purpose.  The  internal  evidences  of  its  divinity, 
its  purpose,  and  its  success,  are  overwhelming. 
They  have  stood  like  pillars  amid  the  surging 
and  dashing  billows  of  unbelief  in  all  the  ages. 
No  young  lady  can,  with  honesty,  read  the  Bible 
account  of  miracles  and  various  doctrines,  so  beau- 
tiful and  strong,  and  be  skeptical.  If  she  wishes 
to  twist  and  turn  its  contents  into  fanciful  chan- 
nels to  suit  the  inclinations  of  a  carnal  heart,  and 
justify  the  behests  of  human  decisions,  it  is  possi- 
ble. But  our  God  is  not  a  deceiver,  neither  is  his 
truth  capable  of  change.  And  further,  you  \vi-h 
my  advice.  Can  a  Christian  youny  lady  thrice 


42  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

spiritually  if  she  neglect  the  Bible  f  No,  she 
cannot.  And  this  is  the  most  important  thing  for 
her  to  learn.  Of  course  there  are  very  many 
young  ladies  who  make  no  profession  to  religious 
experience,  and,«in  such  a  state  of  mind,  cannot 
understand  the  import  of  this  question.  It  is,  to 
the  religious  young  lady,  vital  and  far  reaching  in 
its  consequences.  Look  at  yourself  as  an  illustra- 
tion. You  are  young  and  buoyant.  You  have 
professed  Godliness  in  the  soul.  In  affection, 
knowledge,  breadth  of  mind,  and  influence,  you 
are  capable  of  great  good  and  great  happiness. 
Your  heart  is  like  a  large  farm  of  excellent  land, 
newly  plowed  but  untilled.  No  harvest  has  ever 
been  gathered  from  it.  Now,  suppose  you  seek 
and  receive  the  seed  of  God's  word,  its  warnings 
and  invitation,  its  joy,  love,  grace  and  spirit,  its 
parables,  its  miracles  and  doctrines,  its  light  and 
hope,  and  the  very  essence  of  its  truth,  which  has 
so  largely  blessed  the  ages,  what,  think  you,  would 
be  the  effect  upon  yourself  and  all  with  whom  you 
have  to  do,  now,  in  the  years  to  come,-  and  in  alb 
the  eternity  of  your  soul?  Grand  must  be  the 
satisfying  results,  and  excellent  the  harvest.  And 
what  if  you  do  not  do  this?  Spiritual  death,  a 
blighting  of  the  moral  powers,  and  the  soul  wronged. 
Inevitable  and  sad  would  be  these  results.  As  meat, 
vegetables,  bread,  and  fruit  are  food  for  the  body, 


BEADING    THE   BIfcT.13.  43 

so  is  the  word  of  the  Lord  a  feast  for  the  soul. 
An  hone-t  and  perpetual  study  of  the  Bible  will 
create  a  thirst  for  it,  and  no  other  literature  can  be 
allowed  with  safety  to  take  its  place. 

Faithfully  for  the  truth, 

YOUR  UNCLE. 


LETTER  YIIL 

IDEAS  OF  PRAYER. 

My  Dear  Niece: — With  the  greatest  pleasure  1 
enter  upon  the  writing  of  this  letter.  You  know 
why.  I  love  prayer.  Its  power  and  benefits  are 
incalculable.  Mmy  are  its  mysteries.  Bnt  am  I 
to  refuse  the  blessings  of  it  because  I  do  not  under- 
stand its  mysteries?  As  well  might  you  ask  me 

,j  o  •/ 

never  to  eat  an  apple  or  a  pear,  because  I  do  not 
understand  the  nature  of  their  germination  and 
growth.  There  is  no  subject  which  can  possibly 
command  the  attention  of  a  young  lady  that  is  of 
more  importance  than  this.  And  there  is  no  sub- 
ject of  which  the  nature,  utility  and  benefits  are  so 
little  understood.  Prayer  to  God  is  no  more  a 
mythical  visionary  asking  for  something  than  the 
asking  of  a  child  for  bread  from  its  mother  is  myth- 
ical and  visionary.  It  is  reality.  But  you  say  then 
why  do  we  not  always  get  what  we  want?  Why 
does  not  the  child  always  get  bread  when  it  asks 
for  it?  Tell  me.  The  parent  knows  it  is  not 
always  best  to  answer  in  just  the  time  and  way 
that  the  child  wishes.  "  Tell  me  the  objects  of 
prayer"  Eternity  will  not  be  long  enough  to  do 

44 


IDKAS    OF    PkAYKR.  45 

this  to  the  fullest  extent.  Hut  I  can  in  a  few  lines 
give  you  some  points  of  knowledge  and  profit.  It 
brings  the  soul  to  God,  and  it  has  a  wonderful 
retlex  influence  upon  the  heart.  It  exerts  an  im- 
mense power  to  prepare  men  for  living  or  dying. 
Tlie.-e  are  stubborn  facts  that  infidels  have  never 
been  able  to  gainsay  or  resist.  A\7hy  is  it  that  as 
Mion  as  prayer  is  engaged  in  by  any  person  and  in 
any  place,  a  solemn  awe  rests  upon  all  around  ( 
Unanswerable  question,  but  nevertheless  a  stern 
reality.  And  there  can  be  no  question  in  my  mind 
but  that  God  designed  it  as  an  avenue  through 
which  man  can  return  to  his  Maker.  And  a 
glorious  one  it  is.  The  very  character  and  life 
of  many  a  young  lady  has  b.va  m-ide  to  shine 
with  moral  brightness  by  prayer,  silent  and  vo- 
cal. And  it  is  lamentable  that  no  more  young 
ladies  avail  themselves  of  this  power.  The 
value  of  secret  prayer  is  untold.  A  great  mm 
once  said,  "If  we  would  reap  in  the  Kingdom,  we 
must  plow  in  the  closet."  And  T  am  not  only  free, 
but  earnest,  in  say  ing  that  secret  prayer  in  the  home 
of  any  woman  is  a  might}'  power.  It  can  not  fail 
to  be  upon  her  own  heart,  her  husband's,  her 
children's,  and  her  friend-'.  And  I  must  tell  von 
that  the  neglect  of  this  is  the  great  mi  -.take  of  many 
a  girl.  Just  here  let  me  press  upon  your  attention 
one  feature,  perhaps  more  important  than  all  others. 


46  LETTERS   TO    A    YOUNG    LADY. 

And  that  is,  when  a  young  lad}'  marries,  she  ought 
to  commence  life,  having  vocal  prayer  in  hours  of 
devotion  with  her  husband.  Indeed,  this  should  be 
commenced  before  marriage,  and  then  continued 
with  the  "  olive  plants,"  should  the  Lord  bless  them 
with  children.  There  can  be  no  possible  power  on 
earth  like  this.  There  is  scarcely  a  woman  that 
lives  who  would  not  like  to  hear  her  husband's 
voice  in  prayer,  and  do  you  not  think  he  would 
like  to  hear  the  sweet  voice  of  an  affectionate  wife  in 
like  manner?  It  is  just  here  that  m  altitudes  of  young 
wives  (and  older,  too,  for  that  matter)  make  a  great 
mistake.  I  have  felt  this  keenly  for  many  years,  as 
I  have  mingled  in  various  households.  I  know 
the  blessings  of  what  I  urge,  and  have  often 
been  led  to  mourn  over  the  neglects  which  are 
strewn  along  the  pathway  of  many  a  man.  It  is 
also  needful  that  a  young  lady  should  train  her 
powers  in  prayer  at  home,  and  that,  too,  in  a  vocal 
manner,  that  she  may  be  prepared  to  engage  in 
prayer  in  more  public  places  and  emergencies  of 
life,  such  as  the  sick-room,  and  other  places.  The 
ideas  of  prayer  entertained  by  young  ladies  through- 
out our  land  in  this  respect  are  sad  and  wrong. 
They  have  powers  of  conversation,  song  and  address 
to  command  any  circle,  social,  private  or  public. 
"Why  not  employ  the  same  expression  of  lips,  tone 
and  voice,  and  affection  of  heart,  in  prayer  to  bless 


IDEAS   OF  PRAYKK.  47  - 

the  world?  A  female  voice  in  prayer  is  a  power. 
Such  is  her  nature  that  in  word  and  act  she  can  go 
far  in  advance  of  the  man  in  power  and  influence. 
Why  not  in  prayer?  It  is  a  mistake  of  which  Satan 
is  allowed  too  much  control.  What,  my  dear  Etha, 
if  the  young  ladies  of  our  land  were  accustomed  to 
enter  our  social  religious  gathering  with  a  purpose 
to  pray?  Would  not  more  young  men  be  drawn 
to  the  place  of  prayer  and  blessing?  Would  they 
not  be  saved?  And  then,  again,  would  not  sweet 
comfort  and  gladness  come  to  the  hearts  of  the  older 
in  riper  years?  We  know  how  delighted  the  par- 
ents are  to  see  the  young  ladies  doing  well  in  acts 
and  deeds  of  early  life.  Why  not  encourage  them 
to  cheer  the  hearts  of  parents,  and  fathers  and 
mothers  in  Israel,  by  allowing  their  voices  to  be 
heard  in  prayer  at  the  family  altar  and  social  church 
circle?  I  wish,  my  dear  Etha,  that  the  current 
ideas  of  prayer  held  by  our  young  ladies  might  be 
changed  so  as  to  bless  themselves  and  their  friends 
more  and  honor  God.  Yours  truly. 


LETTER  IX. 

MUSIC. 

My  Dear  Niece: — "No  young  lady  can  be  profi- 
cient as  she  ought  to  be  for  blessing  the  world  until 
she  has  knowledge  of  music.  This  should  be 
an  important  factor  in  her  education.  Some  ar- 
gue that  they  have  no  talent  or  taste  for  it,  while 
still  others  think  they  cannot  bear  the  expense, 
and  a  greater  number  fail  to  become  proficient 
from  lack  of  perseverance.  Neither  of  these  are 
good  reasons.  Talent  and  taste  can  be  created  to  a 
u'reat  extent  hy  application.  And  the  facilities* 
of  a  musical  education  are  now  such  as  to  be  within 
the  reach  of  even  the  poorest.  The  home,  the  church, 
the  social  circle,  and  the  society  of  every  commu- 
nity, demands  the  development  of  young  ladies  in 
music.  Man  and  beast  in  their  very  natures  are 
crying  out  tor  the  blessing  of  music.  And  such  is 
its  power  and  importance  that  God  in  His  holy 
word  has  made  praise  more  prominent  than  nnv 
other  act  of  worship.  You  ask  me,  "  To  TV/7 
you  tin-  '•////;/'  'L-ftlnt'.  of 'iiitix/i'.'"1  Can  yon,  my 
child,  conceive  what  a  graveyard  of  a  place  tin's 
world  would  be  without  music?  What  darkness 
and  gloom!  It  would  be  sad  indeed!  But  music 
in  all  its  grades,  tones,  and  branches  of  power,  lights 

43 


MTJSIO.  4:9 

tip  the  world  with  joy.  Babies  in  the  cradle, 
children  in  the  street  and  the  school,  and  parents 
at  home  are  made  to  feel  its  inspiring  tone1!.  The 
church  is  helped  on  in  its  work  of  blessing  and 
saving  by  music.  It  could  not  do  without  it.  The 
sick-room  is  often  changed  by  it  from  a  place  of 
pain  to  one  of  joy,  and  from  sorrow  to  peace. 

Old  age  is  often  soothed,  and  inspired  with  hope 
by  this  powerful  influence.  By  it  Sunday-school 
work  is  pushed  on  and  made  a  lasting  benefit  to 
the  world.  And  very  nature,  with  man  and  beast, 
rocks  and  rills,  river  and  ocean,  and  trees,  and 
mountains,  are  made  to  resound  with  high  notes  of 
praise.  Indeed,  it  would  be  hard  to  tell  in  what 
way,  place  or  state  music  had  no  value.  And  in 
view  of  this  let  me  say  a  few  things  about  your 
question,  "Should  a  youiiy  lady  dispense  with, 
music  ivhen  married?  "  I  must  say  she  should 
not.  If  she  ever  needed  to  give  attention  to  this 
it  is  in  married  life.  If  capable  of  its  perform- 
ance she  would  have  it  in  courtship,  and,  of  course, 
it  is  desirable  at  the  marriage;  and  surely  the 
home  is  not  complete  without  it.  I  know  that  not 
a  few  young  ladies  as  soon  as  they  become  wives, 
housekeepers,  an<l  mothers,  think  they  have  no 
time  for  music,  unless  it  be  to  sing  to  the  baby, 

"Rock  a-by  baby  on  the  tree  top, 

When  the  wind  blows  the  cradle  will  rock." 


50  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

She  should  make  time  for  music.  Nothing  can 
please  a  husband  and  bless  a  home  more.  You 
will  find  that  care,  labor  and  expense  will  pay  to 
keep  music  in  the  household.  And,  my  dear  Etha, 
as  I  prize  your  happiness,  I  want  to  refer  to  one 
thing  especially,  while  I  am  speaking  of  music  in 
the  household.  If  the  Lord  should  ever  give  yon 
a  religious  home  (and  I  hope  if  you  have  one  it, 
will  be  this  kind),  I  urge  that  you  always  have  sing- 
ing at  family  worship.  It  always  seems  incomplete 
to  me  without  this.  It  should  be  as  much  a  part 
of  worship  in  the  home  as  in  the  church.  I  have 
often  visited  in  families  where  there  was  worship 
with  many  children  around  the  altar,  and  no  sing- 
ing. It  was  so  barren.  The  children  should  be 
taught  to  sing  at  the  home  altar  as  much  as  in  the 
Sunday-school.  And  where  there  are  no  children, 
what  could  be  more  sweet  for  husband  and  wife 
and  friends  than  song  and  prayer  together?  It 
would  lift  them  to  the  very  throne  of  God  and  of 
Heaven  in  the  purest  love.  But  you  have  asked  me 
"To  what  extent  sacred  songs  should  he  employed 
in  the  home?  "  To  a  large  extent.  At  least  enough 
to  make  such  good  and  divine  impressions  as  ought 
to  be  made.  It  is  true  that  the  nature,  culture, 
and  surroundings  of  many  homes  seem  to  demand 
artistic  music,  and  this  or  none  at  all.  But  to  at- 
tempt to  fully  satisfy  a  home  with  this  would  be 


MUSIC.  51 

like  trying  to  make  a  heaven  without  divinity. 
There  is  a  something  in  the  moral  nature  of  every 
heart  diat  demands  and  gently  responds  to  the 
hallowed  calls  of  holy  song.  This  is  true  whether 
confessed  by  the  recipient  or  not.  And  there  is  no 
place  for  this  like  home.  I  say,  then,  give  music  to 
the  heart  as  well  as  to  the  car.  And  while  I  would 
have  instrumental  and  artistic  music  in  the  family, 
I  would  have  a  large  balance  of  holy  song;  and 
from  this  there  will  go  out  a  stream  of  untold  in- 
fluence to  comfort  and  bless  the  world.  Beyond 
this  I  want  to  say  no  tongue  can  tell,  or  pen  de- 
scribe the  power  of  song  in  the  hour  of  death.  And 
why  not?  God  has  made  man,  and  the  nature  of 
the  two  worlds  in  keeping  with  this.  The  struggles, 
pains,  and  conflicts  of  this  life  have  caused  the  heart 
to  sigh  for  relief.  Here  it  is!  Music  charms  the 
soul,  and  introduces  it  to  the  realms  of  ineffable 
<rlory.  Angels  wait  the  corning  of  the  redeemed 
one  to  join  the  heavenly  throng;  and  the  song  of 
transit  is  but  the  soul-enchanting  prelude  to  the  in- 
expressible joy  that  wraps  it  in  the  enshrouding  of 
the  new  inheritance. 

Yours  in  the  blessing  of  song, 

A.  P.  G. 


LETTER  X.  & 

STANDARD  OF  WOMANHOOD. 

My  Dear  Niece: — I  am  fully  aware  that  the 
ideas  of  true  womanhood  are  as  various  as  commu- 
nities, families  or  persons.  But  there  is  no  more 
vital  question  that  you  or  any  other  young  lady 
can  consider  or  work  upon.  The  great  Creator  has 
not  left  us  in  the  dark  as  to  the  character  and  stand- 
ing of  woman  in  the  world.  He  has  made  a  stand- 
ard, and  told  woman  how  she  was  made,  and  why 
she  was  made,  and  he  has  revealed  the  history  of 
nations  and  the  ages  to  show  her  position  and  place 
among  men.  You  need  not  be  blindly  led  as  to 
the  notions  of  society,  of  what  woman  is  and  what 
she  should  be.  I  would  be  neither  extravagant  nor 
over- reaching  while  I  reply  to  your  question,  "  What 
is  the  standard?"  AVhile  with  some  it  is  every- 
thing we  could  wish,  as  near  as  a  human  being 
could  make  it,  with  others  it  is  anything  but  what 
it  should  be.  In  some  of  my  former  letters  I  have 
endeavored  to  set  before  you  the  character  and 
power  of  woman  as  God  made  her.  And  do  you 
think,  my  dear  Etha,  it  is  wise  or  right  for  any 
woman  to  let  down  that  standard  below  what  she 

52 


STANDARD    OF   WOMANHOOD.  53 

is  able  to  raise  it?  I  think  you  have  agreed  with 
me  in  the  positions  and  views  of  former  letters. 
And  now  I  press  this  question,  is  it  right,  is  it 
wise,  to  lower  the  standard  to  the  injury  of  man  or 
herself  to  suit  some  human  behest?  Well,  if  a 
woman  does  not  begin  in  some  way  and  under  some 
form  of  influence  while  young,  to  make  the  stand- 
ard of  her  life  and  sex  what  it  should  be,  will  she 
be  likely  to  afterward?  "As  the  twig  is  bent,  the 
tree's  inclined,"  is  as  true  in  this  as  other  ranks  of 
life.  Let  us  see.  Take  this  standard.  Here  is  a 
young  lady  who  by  some  influence  has  started  her 
life  career  with  the  notion  that  to  be  a  woman,  pop- 
ular and  esteemed  in  society,  she  must  speak  in  a 
chaste  and  refined  manner,  act  under  the  best  rules 
of  fashionable  etiquette,  cultivate  a  taste  for  the 
wealthy  ajid  worldly,  mingle  alone  in  the  circle  of 
fashion  and  appearance,  with  here  and  there  a  smat- 
tering of  some  act  or  gift  of  kindness.  This  is  her 
standard.  Is  this  right?  Of  course  some  would 
measure  it  and  say,  "  Yes."  But  is  this  the  ollject 
for  which  God  made  her?  Think,  a  helpmeet  for 
man!  And  does  this  help  him?  Let  the  history 
of  the  past  answer.  How  many  a  man  has  been 
sadly  degenerated  by  such  a  course.  It  is  neither 
right,  best,  or  wise.  No  person  has  a  right  to  set 
up  a  standard  of  life  that  shall  pervert  the  object 
gf  her  being.  Now  I  would  not  say  there  are  09 


54          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

'good  things  in  the  above  mentioned  traits.  There 
are,  but  they  are  in  bad  company.  The  aims  are 
wrong,  and  therefore  the  goal  reached  will  be  neces- 
sarily wrong.  Take  another  standard.  The  young 
lady  has  conceived  and  considered  at  least  some  of 
the  objects  of  her  being.  She  enters  upon  life  with 
a  purpose.  The  notions  of  worldly  society  are  not 
uppermost  in  her  mind.  The  standard  she  raises 
is  a  towfer  of  strength.  ]S"o  man  could  be  demoral- 
ized by  its  influence.  It  has  been  weighed  in  the 
balance  of  the  pure  and  the  good  among  the  mo- 
tives, the  acts  and  the  results  of  the  ages.  An  ed- 
ucated mind,  a  holy  heart,  acts  commended  by  the 
bad  as  well  as  the  good,  a  conscience  filled  with 
peace,  lasting  peace,  unsullied  peace  because  of 
man's  blessing  and  the  Lord's  approval,  and,  in  a 
word,  an  influence  that  shall  never  harm  but  always 
be  a  source  of  blessing.  Of  such  a  standard  woman 
is  capable,  and  it  is  both  her  duty  and  privilege  to 
raise  it.  In  saving  this,  I  would  not  rob  her  of  one 

*/          O 

particle  of  influence  and  pleasure  in  this  world 
which  the  Lord  would  have  her  seek,  find,  and  en- 
joy. But  she  is  to  use  the  world  as  not  abusing  it. 
She  should  study  to  make  it  beautiful,  useful,  and 
a  blessing.  And  if  woman  does  not  herself  raise 
this  standard,  who  will?  True,  the  woman  "plucked 
the  fruit"  and  trailed  in  the  dust  the  flag  of  divine 

O 

promise,     Must  she  forever  leave  it  there,  and  inan 


STANDARD  OF  WOMANHOOD.  55 

be  crushed  by  the  weight  of  its  dishonor?  The 
giver  of  good  has  opened  wide  a  door  to  reclaim, 
bring  back  and  re-erect  the  standard.  He  bids 
woman  come  to  the  front  and  lay  her  hand  to  the 
flagstaff  of  his  love,  throw  to  the  breeze  the  ban- 
ner of  peace,  and  win  man,  by  such  affection,  prayer 
and  love  as  she  alone  is  capable  of  giving,  back  to 
primitive  joy. 

Affectionately, 

YOUK  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XI. 

WOMAN'S  BIGHTS. 

My  Dear  Niece: — I  know  our  land  and  the 
world  are  rocking  with  the  agitated  question  of 
"Woman's  Rights."  Why,  I  know  not.  Surely 
woman  has  more  rights  now  than  she  can  or  does 
successfully  attend  to.  True,  many  are  earnestly 
and  faithfully  and  very  £Uccessfully  pushing  the 
battles  of  life  with  wonderful  happiness  to  them- 
selves and  benefits  to  the  world.  While  large 
numbers  are  apparently  living  without  aim  or  well- 
defined  purpose  of  good.  And  some  of  these  are 
setting  up  some  visionary  image  of  woman's  rights 
such  as  voting  at  the  polls,  entering  the  arena  of 
public  life  by  way _ of  pleading  at  the  bar,  being  or- 
dained to  the  ministry  of  truth,  sitting  on  the 
judge's  bench,  and  embracing  and  perpetuating 
sentiments'  of  freeloveism  and  the  like.  Now,  my 
dear  niece,  I  want  to  say  a  few  things  to  you  in 
this  letter  that  may  help  you  to  act  personally  in. 
all  the  rights  that  God  has  given  you,  and  also 
lead  other  young  ladies  in  the  same  way.  It  is  a 
pity  that  so  many  women  foolishly  spend  such  a 
large  portion  of  their  life  in  dictating  a  course  of 
H 


WOMAN'S  EIGHTS.  57 

action  for  others,  but  never  seem  to  have  any  good 
purpose  themselves.  Find  out,  then,  my  dear 
Etha,  by  the  best  tests  of  thought,  action  and  coun- 
sel, what  God  made  you  for,  and  then  go  at  it  and 
pursue  it  to  the  end  of  life's  journey,  which  you 
will  find  very  short  at  the  longest.  If  it  is  in  the 
household,  act  there,  if  in  public  proclamation  of 
truth  do  it.  If  you  are  impressed  to  lecture  on  re- 
form, follow  that;  possibly  there  may  be  in  your 
heart  a  call  to  foreign  climes  to  educate  and  save 
your  sisters;  then  you  should  enter  this  avenue  of 
pleasure  and  profit.  So  I  might  go  on  indefinitely 
to  point  out  the  good  path  of  woman.  But  just 
here  let  me  define  a  little  so  as  not  to  be  misunder- 
stood. I  would  not  lay  a  straw  in  the  way  of  wo- 
man's filling  the  place  for  which  God  made  her. 
No,  but  rather  help  her.  But  when  I  am  asked  to 
endorse  unreasonable  positions  and  schemes  of 
unmitigated  sin,  polygamy  and  the  like,  I  stop, 
and  enter  protest  with  all  my  might.  "When 
I  am  asked,  should  a  woman  vote  at  the  bal- 
lot box,  I  say  no.  The  remedies  that  are  sought 
by  this  could  never  be  realized.  Now,  the  an- 
tagonisms of  good  and  bad  men  meet  at  the 
ballot  box.  It  would  be  just  so  with  women. 
And  I  doubt  exceedingly  if  cures  of  evil  could  ever 
be  effected  in  this  way.  Besides  it  would  expose 
her  to  vile  associations  where  she  never  ought  to  be. 


58  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG    LADY. 

and  where  good  women  would  not  consent  to  go, 
unless  it  were  on  some  errand  of  moral  alleviation, 
while  the  more  coarse,  rough  and  dissolute  would 
go,  and  their  wicked  votes  would  make  matters 

o    " 

worse  than  they  are  now.  As  to  a  woman's  preach- 
ing the  gospel,  I  would  encourage  it  in  every  possi- 
ble way  if  she  can  do  it  successfully,  but  would 
never  ordain  her  by  the  laying  on  of  hands,  because 
there  is  no  scripture  example  of  this.  But  woman 
did  preach  a  risen  Saviour,  and  everywhere  labored 
with  the  Apostles  in  the  gospel.  I  am  asked,  would 
I  have  a  woman  on  the  judge's  bench  or  in  the 
juror's  box.  No.  How  interesting  it  would  be 
to  see  a  mother  with  a  babe  in  her  arms  on  the 
judge's  bench,  and  how  enjoyable  for  a  wife  to  be 
kept  in  the  jury  room  all  night  to  decide  a  case, 
while  the  husband  is  home  trying  to  quiet  a  crying 
baby.  Sweet  indeed.  Rarely  a  woman  may  be 
found  with  a  gift  to  plead  at  the  bar,  and  if  she  can 
do  this  and  properly  care  for  her  family  let  her  do 
it.  She  may  do  good,  serve  her  fellow  man  and 
honor  God  in  this  way.  But  a  woman's  rights  are 
in  the  bosom  of  her  family,  first  and  always.  Noth- 
ing should  be  allowed  to  interfere  with  her  duties, 
privileges  and  pleasures  here.  But  as  you  have 
asked  me,  I  must  speak  a  few  words  about  freelove- 
ism.  "  Why  is  freeloveism  so  connected  with  the 
subject  of  woman's  rights?"  I  will  tell  you;  be- 


WOMAN  8    RIGHTS.  4»i> 

cause  some  women  claim  liberal  rights  /c/»  lL>  ^reat 
army  of  their  sex,  which  are  justifiable  in  no  sense 
whatever.  It  is  claimed  that  parties  may  rr.arry  at 
their  notional  option,  by  their  own  mere  consent, 
and  if  they  wish,  separate  at  pleasure.  What  a  ridi- 
culous and  abominable  farce  upon  the  divine  insti- 
tution. It  would  soon  degenerate  men  to  the  beast- 
liness of  cattle  herds  and  dog  pens.  So  with  the 
Mormon  view.  Here  the  purhy  and  God-given  joy 
of  marriage  are  blackened,  and  sooner  or  later  those 
who  enter  it  must  sink  into  ba/barisra  and  eternal 
dejection.  Against  the  prevailing  sentiments  of  free- 
loveism  in  our  age,  every  young  lady  should  set  her 
face  like  a  flint.  She  should  never  consent  to  listen 
to  a  lecture  from  a  male  or  female  who  would  ad- 
vocate it.  Thistle  and  cockle  seed  when  allowed 
to  be  sown,  may.  take  root  in  good  soil.  So,  many 
a  pure  and  unsuspecting  girl  has  listened  to  false 
teachings  to  her  grief  and  sorrow.  Since  the  devil 
tempted  Eve,  he  has  been  especially  busy  for  the 
downfall  of  her  sex.  And  this  is  marked  in  the 
follies  of  freelovers  and  freethinkers.  Debauchery, 
sin  and  death  are  in  this  cnp.  It  is  a  little  delicate, 
my  loved  Niece,  to  reply  to  your  question  :  "  Has 
not  a  woman  a-  right  to  remain  single  and  expect 
respect  among  men?"  Most  assuredly.  But  the 
prevailing  fashions  and  opinions  of  society  make  it 
delicate  to  treat  upon  such  a  point.  Because  some 


60         LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

girls  are  what  are  termed  "  old  maids,"  they  are 
looked  upon  as  almost  outside  of  society.  It  should 
not  be  so.  They  should  be  esteemed  as  highly 
as  the  best.  Very  few  are  there  who  have  not  had 
opportunities  to  marry  and  be  surrounded  with 
happy  households  of  their  own.  Varied  motives 
and  surroundings  have  prevented.  A  lack  of  love, 
crime,  unfaithfulness,  death,  or  some  other  cause, 
unknown  to  us,  may  have  smitten  their  hearts  for 
long  years.  The  unmarried  as  well  as  the  married 
lady,  young  or  old,  should  have  our  highest  con- 
siderations of  love  and  respect  in  all  her  God-given 
relations,  surroundings  and  providences. 

Yours,  in  high  esteem  of  woman, 

A.  P.  G. 


LETTER  XII. 

A  GOOD  HOME. 

My  Dear  Niece: — "  You  ask  me  what  are  the 
characteristics  of  a  good  home?"  Important  as 
prominent  and  effective,  a  faithful,  loving  wife, 
and  a  kind,  considerate  husband.  And  with  them 
the  first  thing  to  be  received,  experienced  and 
deeply  cherished,  is  religion.  I  say  this  because 
of  the  nature  of  the  "divine  institution"  in  the 
relation  of  marriage.  No  husband  and  wife  can 
be  happy  and  prosperous,  and  honor  the  Giver  of 
their  home  as  they  should,  without  this.  You  may 
think  this  radical  doctrine.  Radical  or  not,  it  is 
true.  There  is  not  a  particle  of  good  reason  why 
you  or  I  should  let  the  standard  down  from  this 
position  one  iota.  How  can  we,  in  wisdom  or  rea- 
son? If  the  institution  of  marriage  and  the  home 
is  divine,  why  should  it  not  be  maintained  as  such? 
The  reverse  is  the  curse  of  our  land  and  age  to-day. 
There  is  so  much  looseness  in  forming  the  marriage 
and  establishing  the  home.  And  then  in  the  en- 
joyment of  religion,  two  things  should  be  observed 
with  the  greatest  care.  The  famity  altar  for  prayer, 
and  the  study  of  the  Bible  as  a  family.  These  two 

61 


62  LETTERS   TO   A  YOUNG   LADY. 

things  cannot  be  neglected  with  safety.  They  are 
to  the  home  what  the  foundation  stones  are  to  the 
house,  and  what  the  leaven  is  to  the  bread.  No 
characteristic  of  the  home  can  shine  brighter  or  be 
in  ore  productive  of  sweet  and  hallowed  influence.  I 
know  of  nothing  on  earth  so  blessed  as  family  pray- 
er. And  in  this,  where  all  the  circle  come  together 
at  least  once  a  day  for  the  purpose  of  reading  the 
word  of  the  Lord,  and  song  and  prayer,  there  is  un- 
told blessing.  And  further,  when  each  member  of 
the  family,  sometimes  the  husband,  and  sometimes 
the  wife  and  sometimes  the  child,  alternate  in  their 
turn  in  prayer,  great  is  the  joy.  This  benefit  may 
also  be  enhanced  if  a  habit  is  formed  to  hold  a 
family  prayer  meeting  once  a  week,  when  each 
member  shall  engage  in  prayer  vocally.  Such  a 
moral  foundation  by  the  training  of  years  would 
build  a  wall  of  hallowed  strength  around  all  the 
succeeding  years  of  the  family.  Let  me  also  add  a 
word  more  about  making  familiar  use  of  the  Bible 
in  the  family.  Do  not  hand  over  all  the  religious 
instruction  of  the  family  to  the  Sunday  school  and 
the  church.  There  should  be  in  this  respect  a 
"church  in  thy  house."  The  father  and  mother 
should  see  to  it  that  special  hours  are  selected  for 
topical  family  circle  Bible  readings.  I  said  the 
father  and  mother,  but  I  may  add  the  mother 
especially.  If  such  government  as  ought  to  be  had 


A   GOOD   HOME.  63 

is  maintained,  it  must  be  mainly  under  her  control. 
She  should  see  to  it  that  the  hour  is  fixed,  arrange- 
ments matured  and  order  and  system  in  the  happiest 
style  maintained.  I  may  also  say  that  the  begin- 
ning of  this  course  of  life  should  be  on  the  tak- 
ing of  wedded  vows  and  joining  in  the  new  life 
together.  Delay  might  peril  a  life  of  usefulness 
and  happiness.  Another  characteristic  is  neatness. 
This  should  be  particularly  observed  by  every  young 
lady  who  would  make  a  good  home.  No  man  likes 
to  see  his  wife  a  sloven  woman.  Many  men  would 
be  made  miserable  and  unhappy  by  this.  There  is 
a  power  to  elevate  comfort  and  happify  the  home  in 
the  personal  and  practical  neatness  of  a  woman. 
When  not  only  about  her  dress  and  person  there  is 
attractive  neatness,  bnt  when  the  children  are 
washed  and  combed,  and  presented  to  a  returning 
father  and  husband,  tired  and  careworn,  there  is 
cheer  and  gladness  such  as  can  not  be  found  in  the 
rags  and  filth  of  earth.  But  more  than  this.  How 
much  attractiveness  a  woman  contributes  to  a  good 
home  when  she  determines  her  husband  shall  ever 
find  the  house  neat  and  orderly,  the  walls  adorned 
with  varieties  of  pictures,  mottoes,  and  various 
tasty  forms  of  adornment.  It^is  good,  I  assure 
yon.  And  in  these  little  things  are  found  jewels 
of  worth.  There  is  still  another  element  that  enters 
into  the  marks  of  a  happy  home  circle.  A  spirit 


64  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

of  love  and  gentleness.  Nothing  can  be  a  substi- 
tute for  this.  And  if  the  wife  and  mother,  the 
woman  of  the  house,  does  not  maintain  this,  there 
is  little  hope  of  it  in  any  member  of  the  family. 
And  even  if  others  were  somewhat  amiable  in  spirit 
and  disposition,  and  she  were  irritable,  peevish  and 
ugly,  the  sunlight  is  hid  behind  a  cloud.  Few 
indeed  are  the  men  who  cannot  be  molded  in  dis- 
position by  the  affectionate  loveliness  of  a  woman. 
This  is  her  God-given  gift,  and  she  should  use  it  to 
grace  every  relation  of  her  home.  Another  charac- 
teristic is  intelligence.  Yet  knowledge  may  be  a 
power  for  evil  as  well  as  a  power  for  good.  And 
this  is  as  true  in  the  family  as  anywhere.  The  lit- 
erature of  the  home  should  be  pure,  sound  and 
inspiring  to  elevate  all  the  tendencies  of  the  moral 
nature.  Fictitious  books,  such  as  low  novels,  and 
lightstories  of  wild  romance,  in  column  after  column 
of  weekly  or  monthly  novel  papers,  are  not  fit  for 
the  family.  In  some  respects  they  may  not  be  act- 
ually sinful,  but  they  are  not  good  food  for  the  mind. 
No  treasure  of  such  worth  was  ever  committed  to  a 
banker  as  the  immortal  mind  that  is  committed 
to  the  home  circle  for  care.  Every  such  soul  in  the 
family  should  be  guarded  from  sin  and  trained  in 
holiness.  If  the  woman  does  not  do  it,  who  will? 
And  in  view  of  this  weighty  thought,  the  wife 
should  see  to  it  that  the  home  is  supplied,  so  far  as 


A   GOOD    HOME.  65 

means  will  permit,  with  literature  of  a  good  kind, 
and  enough  of  it.  If  she  does  not  do  this,  she  is 
unworthy  of  the  trust  she  lias  taken.  Economy, 
too,  will  contribute  to  the  attractiveness  and  happi- 
ness of  the  home.  Few  men  can  hear  extravagance. 
True,  some  men  are  extravagant  themselves,  and 
will  indulge  a  wife  in  it  without  a  murmur.  But 
such  usually  come  to  grief.  Most  men  admire  a 
frugal  and  industrious  wife.  Even  the  wealthy  like 
this.  I  have  known  some  women  who  had  wealth, 
and  seemed  to  think  poverty  impossible,  and  were 
extravagant  as  foolishness  and  fashion  could  make 
them.  They  would  train  themselves,  their  children, 
and  all  the  circumstances  of  their  home,  to  bow  to  the 
most  lavish  calls,  until  they  were  crushed  beneath 
the  wheels  of  bankruptcy,  and  their  home  was  a 
scene  of  unfortunate  wretchedness.  Better  when 
coffers  are  full  to  school  every  habit  to  economy, 
then  if  the  days  of  darkness  should  come,  there  are 
means  at  hand  and  brains  and  adaptability  to  use 
them.  The  work  of  the  woman  is  to  shape  matters 
in  these  channels.  It  is  as  much  her  business  to 
save  and  economize  as  it  is  the  husband's  to  make 
the  money.  Preparations  to  do  this  home  work 
cannot  begin  too  early.  Every  man  with  brains 
and  heart  is  pleased  with  this.  And  without  it  the 
home  is  very  defective.  The  last  characteristic 
which  I  will  mention,  my  dear  Etha,  is  Affection. 


66  LETTERS    TO    A   YOUNG    LADY. 

Love  in  the  home  if  you  do  not  love  anywhere  else. 
Let  the  home  begin  in  love,  continue  in  love,  and 
end  in  love.  Alas!  that  so  many  get  the  false  idea 
that  the  honeymoon  should  last  only  a  few  weeks. 
Such  a  notion  is  false  and  wrong.  It  is  disastrous 
to  many  a  home,  is  productive  of  infidelity  and 
unfaithfulness,  and  the  thought  should  never  be 
entertained  for  a  moment.  The  purest  love,  God- 
given,  divinely  consecrated,  and  hallowed  by  the 
affections  of  true  hearts,  should  form  the  perpetual 
net- work  of  the  home  circle. 

Most  sincerely, 

A.  P.  G. 


LETTER  XIII. 

YOU  CAN  BE  A  TRUE  WOMAN. 

My  Dear  Niece  : — A  true  woman.  What  un- 
bounded meaning,  and  almost  incomprehensible 
thoughts  that  are  wrapt  up  in  this  term.  How 
desolate  that  spot  on  earth  where  a  woman  cannot 
be  found.  Desolate  indeed.  But  it  is  worse  than 
desolate  if  there  be  one  who  has  the  form  of  wo- 
man but  whose  character  has  all  the  marks  of  untrue- 
ness.  Bright  indeed  is  that  place  where  there  resides 
woman  fair,  lovelj-  and  pure.  It  is  an  Eden  of  at- 
tractiveness. And  I  do  not  marvel  that  you  ask 
the  question,  "  What  is  a  true  woman?  "  Do  you 
know,  my  child,  what  constitutes  the  genuineness 
of  gold  coin?  Pure  metal.  The  gold  separated 
from  the  quartz  and  shaped  for  use.  So  with 
woman,  God-made  and  God-given,  to  bless  the  man. 
By  culture  and  grace  she  may  be  shaped  with  more 
capabilities  for  the  service  of  blessing  than  any 
other  created  being.  The  great  Creator  never  gave 
an  angel  such  an  exalted  position  as  woman. 
Angels  may  inhabit  the  celestial  empire,  strike 
their  harps,  and  with  added  carol  strains  make  the 
arches  of  paradise  ring,  but  they  have  no  part  iu 

6V 


68  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

making  and  shaping  unsullied  characters  to  reign 
forever  in  the  sinless  kingdom.  This,  woman  can 
do,  and  God  has  appointed  her  to  the  office.  What 
making  and  molding  are  in  her  hands.  A  respon- 
sibility of  beauty,  loveliness  and  worth  that  an 
angel  might  well  covet.  And,  as  charity  begins  at 
home,  so  does  this  experience  and  work.  Young 
lady,  as  your  eyes  scan  this  letter,  do  not  shrink. 
Your  task  is  not  hard,  but  glorious;  not  impossible, 
but  blessedly  within  your  reach.  True  greatness 
is  often  in  simplicity.  So  true  womanhood  is  oftener 
found  in  the  wisdom,  spirit  and  action  of  a  child- 
like nature  than  anywhere  else.  Alas,  how  many 
young  ladies,  when  they  have  maintained  purity  of 
character,  think  they  are  entitled  to  the  claim  of 
being  true  women.  They  might  do  this  and  be  the 
next  thing  to  a  blank  in  the  world.  Character,  with 
nerve  and  purpose  for  a  good  action,  is  what  the 
world  demands  to-day.  No  drone  is  tolerated  with 
respect;  but  as  the  little  drops  of  water  make  the 
ocean,  so  little  actions  make  up  our  life.  And  as 
the  blank  sheet  of  paper  can  not  be  read  without 
t\'pe  and  ink,  no  more  can  your  character  be  under- 
stood without  acts.  The  trueness  of  a  woman's 
principles  will  ever  be  judged  by  her  actions.  Then 
I  say  to  you,  dear  Etha,  at  once  commence  to  ex- 
alt your  womanhood  into  the  highest  type  of 
excellence.  You  can  do  it.  If  you  do  not  fully 


YOU    CAN    BE   A   TRUE    WOMAN.  69 

succeed,  you  can  ascend  a  long  way  upward.  Step 
by  step  makes  the  ladder,  and  it  takes  but  a  little 
strength  to  make  a  step  at  a  time,  but  by  and  by 
the  top  is  reached.  You  may  meet  obstacles,  but 
go  around  them,  climb  over  them,  crawl  through 
them,  put  them  out  of  your  way,  go  on  by  some 
means.  Tunnel  the  mountain  in  some  way,  but 
never  let  it  stop  you.  What  woman  is  there  who 
has  ever  attained  any  position  of  worth  and  good- 
ness that  has  not  encountered  many  a  hard  struggle? 
It  is  not  enough  for  you,  then,  to  claim  trueness 
simply  because  you  have  maintained  a  life  of  chas- 
tity. Beyond  that  put  all  your  affections,  and 
moral  powers  and  physical  and  mental  energies 
into  one  grand  array  of  conquering  forces,  and 
march  them  out  to  conquer  in  the  arena  of  life  and 
they  will  conquer.  In  our  country,  victories,  not 
defeats,  are  the  order  of  the  day.  This,  many  a 
young  lady  has  to  learn  by  frequent  buffetings  upon 
the  storm-furrowed  ocean  of  life.  But  while  I 
have  given  you  these  thoughts  to  inspire  you  to 
right  motives,  action  and  attainments,  I  must  not 
finish  this  letter  without  at  least  briefly  glancing 
at  your  questions  that  have  such  bearing  upon  true 
womanhood.  "  What  aids  will  best  enable  me  to 
be  a  trite  woman?  "  Of  course  I  should  urge 
education  as  first  and  prominent.  The  cardinal 
branches  of  the  schools  of  learning  should  be  mas- 


70  LETTERS   TO   A   YOUNG    LADY. 

tered  as  far  as  brains  and  circumstances  will  permit. 
And  don't  neglect  music.  But  do  not  let  your 
lettered  acquisitions  of  knowledge  run  riot  with 
worldly  wisdom.  Seek,  then,  to  have  every  attain 
ment  consecrated  to  a  good  end.  Ask  God  to  give 
wisdom  to  guide  all  your  strength  and  talent.  Do 
not  be  aimless  in  life  ;  and  above  all,  aim  high. 
Girls  with  a  true  purpose  are  the  standard-bearers 
called  for.  Let  me  urge  you,  also,  in  my  reply, 
that  in  the  make-up  of  your  womanly  course,  you 
regard  with  no  small  degree  of  care  the  power  of 
association.  Were  I  writing  to  young  men  I 
should  insist  on  this.  Bad  company  is  often  their 
bane  ;  it  may  be  none  the  less  with  you.  I  do  not 
mean,  barely,  that  you  be  careful  what  gentlemen 
you  associate  with,  but  look  well  to  your  lady  com- 
panions. Scan  their  moral  beliefs,  habits  of  thought, 
company  and  action,  and  if  these  are  not  such  as  to 
elevate  your  mind,  soul  and  body,  make  a  new 
selection  at  once.  So  many  young  ladies  evidently 
aim  only  to  prey  upon  society  by  making  a  vain 
show  in  the  world.  If  this  is  their  only  purpose, 
better  that  they  were  out  of  the  world,  and  surely 
they  are  not  fit  companions  for  one  who  wants  to 
build  up  a  true,  womanly  character.  Also,  my  dear 
Etha,  I  would  advise  you  to  select  a  choice  course 
of  reading  to  help  the  superstructure  of  your 
youthful  building.  You  should  not  attempt  to 


YOU    CAN   BE    A   TRUE   WOMAN.  71 

read  everything,  for  two  reasons, — first,  you  have 
not  time,  and  second,  you  cannot  afford  to  spend 
time,  money  or  talent  on  that  which  will  not  profit. 
1  simply  give  you  this  hinc  among  the  aids  to  true 
womanhood.  But  when  I  get  a  little  leisure  I  will 
write  you  a  letter  about  reading.  I  will  just  speak 
of  one  other  thing  that  you  will  find  peculiarly 
helpful.  Ask  and  accept  the  advice,  counsel  and 
influence  of  the  seniors  of  your  sex.  This  is  a  time 
when  young  ladies,  as  a  rule,  do  not  have  that  re- 
gard for  the  wisdom  of  their  mothers  and  friends 
which  they  should.  Improve  the  first,  best,  and 
every  opportunity  that  you  can  for  this  help,  and 
you  will  never  regret  it.  You  ask,  "Can  I  be  true 
and  encourage  that  which  is  false?  "  Not  if  you 
willfully  do  this.  Possibly  there  may  be  limes  when 
you  may  seem  compelled  to  do  so  by  circumstances 
beyond  your  control.  In  such  an  instance  you  may 
be  able  to  maintain  purity  of  heart  and  motive. 
Yes,  and  dignity,  too.  But  firm  action  and  decision 
will  increase  your  personal  happiness  and  win  the 
respect  and  confidence  of  others.  This  question  is 
vital:  What  is  the  lest  evidence  that  a  youny  ladg 
is  a  true  woman?"  I  answer,  TO  BE  ONE. 

Most  respectfully. 


LETTER  XIV. 

MANNER  OF  DRESS. 

My  Dear  Niece: — A  few  days  ago  I  saw  a  bal- 
ance which  gave  a  hint  at  some  strong  facts  and  a 
little  fiction.  On  perforated  card-board  worked  with 
zephyr  were  placed  on  a  little  cross-bar  the  words 
"Ha, Ha."  Suspended  from  this  by  small  red  cords 
was  another  and  wider  bar  with  this  inscription, 
"Modern  love;"  and  beneath  this,  hanging  upon 
other  cords,  were  two  scale  pans.  In  one  raised 
high  above  the  other  was  placed  an  imitation  heart. 
In  the  other  two  small  white  bags,  filled  with 
bran  or  sawdust.  These  bags  thus  filled  with  use- 
less stuff,  and  bearing  down  the  balance,  were  made 
to  represent  the  affections  and  character  of  the 
world  to-day,  while  the  heart  that  should  out- 
weigh gold,  silver,  dress,  fashion,  and  every  light 
appearance,  and  be  serving  the  world  with  God- 
like devotion,  is  made  to  fly  up  in  the  scale,  and 
appear  like  the  winds  that  pass  and  are  forgotten. 
"  Modern  love."  My  heart  sank  within  me  when 
I  gazed  at  this  scene.  If  mockery,  it  is  a  disgrace. 
If  reality,  it  is  a  shame.  But  when  I  think  how 
much  pretention  is  put  into  outward  manners  and 


MANNER  OF  DRESS.  73 

gorgeous  dress,  1  am  overwhelmed  with  the  inev- 
itable consequences.  But  I  turn  from  this  lesson 
of  the  balance,  and  let  it  bear  its  own  weight  upon 
your  heart  and  life,  dear  Etha.  If  you  do  not  need 
it  give  it  to  those  that  do.  I  fear  there  are  plenty 
of  them.  In  all  the  ages  fine  dressing  has  effected 
far  too  much  deception  and  misery.  This  is  a 
truth  that  can  not  be  overthrown  until  there  is  a 
change  in  manner  and  custom  about  dress.  But 
while  I  make  this  statement,  I  would  not  lower  the 
standard  of  neatness  or  good  taste  a  particle.  No, 
not  for  a  moment.  I  would  remove  nothing  that 
good  reason  could  dictate.  As  you  ask  *'  What  are 
some  of  the  characteristics  of  good  dressing  f"  I  will 
draw  a  few  lines,  at  least,  for  your  thought.  One 
mark  that  should  be  observed,  is  to  keep  the  ex- 
pense of  the  dress  in  keeping  with  the  home.  If  a 
young  lady  is  at  home,  and  parents  are  struggling 
to  maintain  the  family,  she  should  do  this.  If  she 
supports  herself,  to  undertake  to  dress  above  the 
ability  of  the  family  is  not  wise,  because  it  would 
serve  to  raise  a  false  standard  between  herself  and 
her  home.  If  the  woman  is  married,  she  should 
always  seek  to  dress  within  the  range  of  home 
ability.  Nothing  can  discourage  a  husband  sooner 
than  a  wife  appearing  in  society  with  a  manner  of 
dress  he  can  not  maintain.  I  mean  a  man  who  is 
trying  to  "get  on  in  the  world."  And  if  wealth 


74  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

abounds  in  the  home,  undue  extravagance  should 
never  be  tolerated,  because  it  forms  a  slavish  habit 
of  taste  that  often  comes  to  grief,  and  sets  up  a 
false  standard  for  children  and  others.  Often 
wealth  is  soon  gone.  Yet  the  pains  of  want  linger; 
and  under  such  circumstances,  habits  of  foolish  ex- 
travagance tell  their  own  story.  Then  I  say,  young 
lady ,.  do  not  seek  to  build  up  a  character  for  happi- 
ness and  usefulness  on  such  a  foundation.  Fancy !< 
silks  and  fine  ribbons  never  did  furnish  a  girl  with 
a  character  of  love,  virtue,  and  solid  comfort,  and 
they  never  will.  It  is  not  in  the  nature  of  the 
case.  I  say,  then,  dress  neatly,  in  good  taste,  and 
with  reasonable  expense,  and  let  the  adornment  of 
womanly  graces  exceed  the  attractions  of  outward 
apparel.  But  here  let  me  say  a  word  to  mothers, 
and  young  mothers,  especially.  Do  not  dress  the 
darling  little  ones  which  God  has  given  you  in  the 
sad  fashion  of  not  a  few  all  around  us.  It  is  not 
only  foolish,  but  wicked.  I  mean  perverting  taste 
and  creating  wrong  desires  in  their  precious  hearts. 
Nature  has  made  them  angel-like  enough,  and  they  \ 
do  not  need  the  adornment  that  many  foolish  moth- 
ers put  on  them.  How  many  are  nursed  and  dressed 
to  death.  Tastes  are  unconsciously  formed  by  many 
a  mother  that  become  the  utter  ruin  of  her  daugh- 
ter afterwards.  In  these  tender  years  .the  seeds  of 
moral  death  are  sown  in  the  elegant  and  extrav- 


MANNER   OF   DRESS.  71 

agant  dressing  of  many  a  girl.  Abundance  o 
wealth  can  never  apologize  for  such  disaster.  N< 
person  cun  love  little  children  more  than  I;  and  i 
is  because  of  this  love  that  I  appeal  to  the  mother 
in  this  way.  Together  with  the  blessed  nature  ol 
little  children,  water  and  soap  and  simplicity  ol 
dress  will  make  your  little  girls  attractive  enoug] 
to  command  the  world  around  them.  But  you  ask 
"  fs  comfort  to  be  observed,  especially  in  dress? 
Listen,  my  child,  while  I  turn  to  this  vital  poinl 
I  apprehend  that  not  only  comfort  is  implied  ii 
what  you  ask,  but  health,  happiness,  and  even  lif 
itself.  Do  you  think  God  made  the  women  to  lac 
themselves  up  so  much  like  the  hooping  of  a  but 
ter-tub  or  beef-barrel,  as  many  do,  to  their  owi 
misery  and  wretchedness?  By  this  you  knov 
many  a  girl  almost  becomes  a  self-murderer.  I 
is  high  time  we  had  more  earnest  and  determine< 
reform  in  this  matter.  Will  you,  and  all  the  younj 
ladies  who  read  these  lines,  begin  at  once?  Wha 
a  service  you  may  do  your  country  and  age  if  yoi 
will. 

Most  truly, 

YOUR  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XV. 

EMPLOYMENT  FOR  YOUNG  LADIES. 

My  Dear  Niece: — This  matter  of  employment 
for  young  ladies  should  not  be  passed  lightly.  It 
is  vital,  both  for  health  and  happiness.  It  is  ut- 
terly impossible  for  a  young  lady  to  have  that 
development  she  ought  of  mental  and  physical 
strength  unless  she  feels  the  weight  of  responsibil- 
ity. To  this  she  should  be  trained.  And  let  me 
add,  it  should  not  be  a  heavy  load  that  she  is  not 
able  to  bear.  Care  should  be  had  in  this.  And 
room  given  amid  the  daily  work  and  cares  for  laugh 
and  play.  The  demands  of  buoyancy  and  youthful 
society  are  vital  in  their  proper  place.  "  All  work 
and  no  play  makes  Jack  a  dull  boy."  This  is  also 
true  of  Kate  and  Eliza.  So  give  full  latitude  to 
the  humorous  and  buoyant  in  her  nature.  But  to 
answer  the  ends  of  this  letter,  my  dear  Etha,  I 
hardly  need  allude  to  play.  There  is  full  enough 
notion  given  to  the  girls  in  this  direction.  The 
tendency  of  our  age  is  by  far  too  much  to  keep  the 
girls  for  parties,  entertainments,  and  the  like, 
rather  than  to  serve  in  some  profitable  way.  Any- 
thing but  to  engage  in  real  hard  labor.  And,  as 
sure  as  there  is  a  future,  I  believe  the  women  of 

76 


EMPLOYMKNT    FOR    YOl  N<.     LA  I  >!!•:>.  77 

our  land  will  yet  find  that,  in  proportion  as  they 
have  lowered  the  standard  of  labor,  they  will  be 
without  muscle,  strength  and  nerve,  and  a  phys- 
ical fitness  to  enjoy  life  and  be  a  blessing. 

"  Is  it  essential  for  a  young  lady  to  have  em- 
ployment?  " 

I  suppose  you  mean  some  useful  service  to  com- 
mand her  time  and  talent.  Most  assuredly.  By 
all  means  teach  her  to  do  something.  Any  notion 
foreign  to  this  must  be  disastrous  to  soul  and  body. 
And  I  believe  mothers,  as  a  rule,  are  culpable  on 
this  point.  While  the  little  girl  is  three,  four,  six, 
and  eight  years  old  she  should  be  taught  to  work. 
Not  at  too  hard  work,  but  to  do  the  little  things. 
She  is  just  as  capable  of  doing  little  things  in  work 
as  she  is  in  play. 

Why  not  trim  and  wash  the  dress  of  her  doll, 
sweep  up  the  dirt  she  has  scattered  in  play,  pick  up 
thedishes  upon  the  table,  brush  up  the  crumbs, set 
back  the  chairs,  pick  up  the  chips,  and  put  the 
kindling  wood  in  its  place,  pick  up  the  potatoes  in 
the  garden,  carry  away  the  dressing  from  the  vege- 
tables, and  help  pick  over  the  berries?  Not  to  over- 
tax her  tender  physical  energies,  but  to  do  the  lit- 
tle things.  As  long  as  our  girls  are  brought  up  to 
think  that  Bridget  is  to  do  all  the  work,  we  shall 
never  have  such  women  to  bless  our  land  as  we 
ought  to  have. 


78  LETTERS  TO  A   YOUNG  LADY. 

"Should  she  work  if  she  has  wealth?"  Yes. 
This  should  make  no  difference  so  far  as  the  de  • 
sign  of  her  life  arid  happiness  are  concerned.  I  af- 
firm, and  shall  continue  to  affirm  until  it  is  shown 
to  the  contrary,  that  wealth  cannot  give  solid  com- 
fort. Of  course,  it  is  convenient.  But  it  cannot 
give  true  happiness.  And  a  young  lady  that  ex- 
cuses herself  from  labor  because  she  is  wealthy 
makes  a  great  mistake  and  is  in  danger.  The  dan- 
ger is  that  she  will  become  worldy  and  sinful.  And 
as  far  as  she  can  control  her  wealth,  it  will  be  lav- 
ished upon  the  path  of  unsatisfying  tastes.  But 
let  her  learn  the  art  of  labor  and  industry,  and  her 
tastes  will  be  so  cultured  as  to  apply  her  wealth  in 
unbounded  good,  good  that  shall  bring  unspeak- 
able pleasure  to  her  own  heart  and  gather  fragrant 
memories  around  her  name  when  she  lies  in  the  si- 
lent grave.  And  who  would  not  crave  such  a  lot? 

You  ask,  "  Is  she  justified  in  seeking  her  own 
pleasure  while  her  mother  drudges  at  home?  " 

No,  she  is  not.  And  I  have  been  long  convinced 
that  many  a  young  lady  has  to  blunt  the  keen  edge 
of  her  conscience  to  do  this.  If  there  is  a  place  on 
earth  where  love  should  reign  supreme,  it  is  be- 
tween a  daughter  and  her  mother.  No  young  lady 
need  tell  me  she  really  loves  her  mother  if  she 
is  willing  to  leave  to  her  the  work  of  washing 


EMPLOYMKXT     FOR    YOUNG  LADIES.  79 

dishes,  sweeping  floors,  caring  for  the  little  chil- 
dren, Monday  washings,  house  cleaning,  and  the 
like,  while  she  is  a  devotee  of  pleasure,  novel  read- 
ing, social  calling,  varied  parties,  and  circus  visit- 
ing. She  cannot  make  me  believe  it.  Her  highest 
happiness  does  not  lie  in  this  direction.  She 
should  be  by  the  side  of  her  loved  mother  to  help 
and  to  cheer.  And  here  her  pleasure  would  flow 
like  a  river. 

" Is  it  a  disgrace  to  do  housework?" 
There  is  no  doubt  but  that  it  is  so  considered  by 
many.  This  ought  not  so  to  be.  And  in  reality 
it  is  not  true.  But,  as  I  can  devote  but  a  few  lines 
to  this,  I  want  most  emphatically  to  say  that  it  is 
my  conviction  that  our  girls  will  never  be  what  the 
demands  of  the  hour  require  until  our  people,  in 
city  and  country,  learn  to  consider  housework  re- 
spectable. The  servant  girl  should  be  taken  into 
the  family  and  treated  as  one  of  the  number.  Why 
not?  You  say,  "They  are  servants.  They  are  be- 
neath us."  What  is  that  you  say?  "Beneath  usf" 
Who  made  them  so?  Men,  by  human  opinions 
and  prejudices.  Surely  this  is  not  the  work  of  the 
great  Creator.  They  have  minds,  souls,  characters, 
life  immortal.  They  should  be  called  upon  at  prop- 
er times  to  mingle  in  the  family  in  a  social  way, 
and  in  song  and  prayer.  A  radical  reform  in  some 
way  in  this  respect,  in  city  and  country,  is  the  need 


80  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

of  the  hour.  I  know  the  great  obstacles  that  meet 
us  here,  but  wisdom  and  perseverance  can  overcome 
them.  God  requires  it.  It  should  be  so,  if  for  no 
other  purpose  than  to  make  house  labor  honorable, 
for  the  good  health  and  happiness  of  our  girls  and 
coining  wives.  This  sentiment  is  not  communism, 
but  Christianity  and  common  sense. 

"  Is  it  her  duty  to  become  familiar  with  all 
kinds  of  domestic  service?  "  By  all  means,  as  far 
as  possible.  There  is  not  one  young  lady  in  a 
thousand  who  lives  to  mature  years,  but  that  some- 
times has  a  need  for  such  knowledge.  And  moth- 
ers and  daughters  should  spare  no  pains  for  these 
acquisitions. 

Much  more  could  be  said  about  the  employment 
of  young  ladies  in  professions  and  different  spheres 
of  life,  but  this  letter  is  now  too  long,  and,  hoping 
these  few  hints  may  do  some  good,  I  close. 

YOUK  UNCLE. 


LETTEE  XVI. 

READING. 

Dedr  Niece: — Now  I  will  sit  down  a  few 
moments  to  talk  to  you  about  reading.  And  first, 
let  me  say,  every  young  lady  should  have  a  library. 
Be  it  large  or  small,  she  should  have  a  library.  I 
know  it  is  seldom  you  hear  of  such  a  thing  as  a 
woman's  library.  But  how  often  we  hear  some- 
thing said  about  Mr.  So-and-So's  library.  Why 
not  let  the  women  have  one  too?  They  have  brains, 
heart,  mental  powers  and  moral  influence.  Why 
not  encourage  them  to  get  accumulations  of  books, 
good  books,  books  that  will  strengthen  their  pow- 
ers of  thought  and  fit  them  to  give  mental  nerve  to 
society?  We  give  the  girls  as  well  as  the  boys  ed- 
ucation, and  the  time  has  come  when  they  are  being 
allowed  a  place  in  the  best  seats  in  our  colleges. 
In  keeping  with  these  advantages,  the  knowledge 
they  acquire  should  be  located  in  the  best  possible 
position  to  develop  and  enlarge.  Young  ladies 
ought  to  be  versed  in  knowledge  so  as  to  entertain 
and  instruct  all  around  them.  Their  associations 
with  young  men  demand  this.  And  to  filling  the 
place  of  wives  and  mothers,  it  is  indispensable. 

6  81 


82  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

Nothing  can  be  a  substitute  for  this  to  rightly 
mold  the  minds  of  the  children  and  home.  It  is 
sad  to  see  young  ladies  as  soon  as  they  are  out  of 
school  lay  down  their  books.  And  if  they  give 
themselves  to  reading  at  all,  it  is  a  serial  story,  or 
some  other  light  production  in  which  they  wade 
through  long  pages  to  get  a  mere  impression  of  a 
moral.  Why  not  cultivate  a  taste,  make  advances, 
and  accumulate  an  array  of  books  that  will  give 
more  substantial  brain-power,  and  thus  bless  the 
world?  Think  of  it,  my  dear  Etha,  and  begin  a 
library  at  once,  and  make  no  cessation  until  you 
have  reached  a  good  end  that  will  satisfy  your  brain 
and  heart. 

Now,  I  will  answer  some  of  your  questions. 

"  How  shall  I  know  what  to  read?"  Consult, 
first,  your  tastes  and  inclinations.  If  they  are 
right,  tested  by  the  decisions  of  your  better  judg- 
ment, follow  their  dictation.  If  not,  change  them 
now  while  you  are  young.  It  is  a  golden  moment. 
Now  you  can  mold  your  mind,  as  well  as  a  boy 
can  learn  the  carpenter's  trade,  or  a  girl  the  millin- 
er's. Then  do  it,  and  compel  your  mind  to  right 
tastes  and  culture,  both  in  the  acquisition  and  use 
of  knowledge.  Then  I  would  urge  that  you  make 
a  rule  to  select  no  book  or  paper  for  reading  but 
that  will  prove  a  benefit.  Life  is  too  short,  and  the 
mind  is  worth  too  much  to  waste  on  tales  of  fiction 


BEADING.  83 

and  romance.  There  is  no  end  to  good  books  and 
papers,  as  well  as  bad  ones.  You  can  select  with- 
out difficulty.  It  is  true,  there  are  books  of  alle- 
gorical fiction  such  as  Bunyan's  Pilgrim's  Progress 
and  the  like,  that  will  give  you  lessons  of  good  en- 
tertainment and  instruction  on  their  every  page. 
Beware  of  trashy  reading  matter  out  of  which  you 
cannot  get  a  sentence  to  make  you  better. 

"  What  amount  of  time  shall  I  devote  to  read- 
ing? "  Some,  every  day.  And  from  one  to  two 
hours  a  day  if  it  is  at  all  practicable.  Remember 
that  many  little  things  that  you  often  allow  to  com- 
mand your  time,  will  not  profit  or  satisfy  yourself 
as  much  as  reading. 

The  mind  needs  food  as  much  as  the  body.  Then 
arrange  to  give  it  proper  time,  as  much  as  you 
would  breakfast,  dinner  and  supper.  How  many 
girls  waste  time  that  should  be  spent  in  reading. 

u  Does  light  reading  unfit  a  young  lady  for  that 
which  is  permanent  and  good!" — No  more  than 
a  man's  taking  liquor  and  becoming  intoxicated 
will  unfit  him  for  good  service.  But  it  will  act  the 
same  way,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree.  And  just 
here,  I  want  to  suggest  two  things.  One  is,  when 
a  selection  of  reading  is  made  for  the  railroad  cars, 

O  7 

do  not  take  a  novel  of  ordinary  cast,  but  take  a 
substantial  book,  magazine,  or  something  that  will 
do  you  good.  The  other  is,  read  the  Bible  every 


84          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

day.  Do  not  stop  to  debate  its  divinity  or  truth- 
fulness. But  read  it.  These  are  questions  that 
have  been  settled  long  ago,  and  the  unbelief  and 
infidelity  of  the  age,  or  the  ages,  can  not  unsettle 
them.  Bead,  then,  this  book  of  books  and  it  will 
do  more  to  prepare  you  for  good  reading  than  any 
other  means. 

"  Is  reading  aloud  a  benefit  ?" — I  should  rec- 
ommend the  practice  to  all  young  ladies.  It  would 
be  a  personal  benefit.  But  more  than  this,  she 
ought  to  be  fitted  to  read  in  the  family,  and  es- 
pecially in  the  sick  room. 

Affectionately, 

YOUK  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XVII. 

FASHION. 

My  Dear  Niece: — What  a  field  for  thought, 
action  and  influence  is  this.  Every  body  is  more 
or  less  controlled  by  fashion.  "What  is  fashion?" 
"The  state  of  anything  with  regard  to  its  external 
appearance.  A  model  to  be  imitated."  So  you 
see  fashion  can  be  good  or  bad.  It  may  be  in  dress 
or  in  habit,  in  learning  or  in  ignorance,  in  wealth 
or  in  poverty,  in  filth  or  in  cleanliness,  in  vice  or  in 
virtue.  Anything  that  can  be  patterned  after  indi- 
vidually, or  as  a  community.  I  am  aware  that  this 
view  may  divert  a  little  from  the  notion  of  your 
mind.  It  is  nevertheless  true.  Doubtless  you 
have  thought  that  what  we  call  fashion  consists  alone 
in  gorgeous  apparel,  gold,  ornaments,  and  the  like. 
Not  so.  "Are  not  many  fashions  hurtful  ?"  Yes, 
they  aro.  This  is  self-evident.  A  large  portion 
of  every  community  conform  to  evil  fashions. 
Although  young  ladies  are  seldom  profane,  I  want 
to  just  mention  here  the  custom,  perhaps  I  may 
say  passion,  to  swear.  Fearful  custom!  It  is  fast 
becoming  a  disgrace  to  our  land.  You  may  say, 
what  have  young  ladies  to  do  with  this  fashion? 

85 


86  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

If  nothing  else,  they  allow  it  to  go  unrebuked  by 
far  too  much.  It  is  hurtful;  and  then  another 
fashion,  a  sad  one,  is  the  use  of  tobacco.  I  am  aware 
that  few  women  use  the  filthy  weed.  Some  do.  But 
do  you  suppose  that  if  young  ladies  set  their  faces 
like  a  flint  against  this  pernicious  habit,  it  would 
stalk  abroad  unbridled  and  unchecked  in  every 
rank  of  society,  as  it  does?  No,  no;  and  I  am  quite 
fully  convinced  that  this  growing  evil  will  never  be 
corrected  until  she,  whose  sex  suffers  most  from  its 
filth  and  annoyance,  shall  take  the  field,  form  a 
mighty  army,  and  crush  out  the  enemy.  So  with 
intemperance,  a  fashion  indeed  in  many  circles,  but 
a  baneful  one.  Oh,  that  the  fair,  affectionate,  and 
influential  young  ladies  of  our  land,  by  the  millions, 
would  besiege  the  Congress  of  our  country  with 
commanding  petitions  until  it  should  obey  the  sum- 
mons, and  enact  laws  utterly  forbidding  the  manu- 
facture, use  or  importing  of  intoxicants.  What  happy 
hearts,  happy  lives,  and  happy  homes  would  follow. 
I  might  also  allude  to  the  fashion  of  playing  cards 
that  decoys  many  a  soul  in  the  way  to  death;  and 
that  of  dancing,  that  so  sedncingly  allures  many  a 
young  lady  into  sin,  covering  her  path  with  roses 
until  she  plunges  into  the  vortex.  Many  other 
phases  could  be  presented,  but  you  catch  the 
answer  to  your  question:  "Are  not  many  fash- 
ions  beneficial  /"  Of  course  every  wrong  thing 


FASHION.  87 

has  its  opposite.  So  with  fashion.  When  you  see 
a  young  lady  truth-loving,  sedate,  modest,  kind, 
gentle,  lady-like,  and  commanding  a  vast  influence 
for  good,  would  you  not  like  to  pattern  after  her? 
Or,  in  other  words,  to  follow  her  example?  A 
custom  to  be  happily  social  is  to  be  welcomed 
with  gladness.  Sometimes  I  find  a  whole  commu- 
nity quite  given  to  a  fashion  of  high-toned  moral- 
ity. This  proves  beneficial  to  all  of  its  inhab- 
itants. I  am  well  aware  that  some  will  say:  "That 
is  all  foolish,  distasteful,  unsatisfying."  It  may 
be  to  those  who  claim  it  thus.  We  are  not  debat- 
ing questions  of  taste,  but  of  benefit;  and  I  affirm 
that  there  is  neither  reason  or  wisdom  in  any  posi- 
tion or  practice  that  will  work  an  injury  physical 
or  moral  to  any  person.  I  mean  that  we  have 
reason  to  believe  will  do  so.  Fashions  that  will 
elevate  and  bear  fruit  in  true  happiness  are  to  be 
admired  and  followed.  Methinks  yourself,  and 
every  reader  of  this  letter,  will  say  yes  to  this.  Then 
what  are  we  to  say  to  the  opposite!  There  are  fash- 
ions of  pleasure,  study,  work,  and  society,  that  are 
beneficial.  Then  wisely  select  and  follow  them. 
"  How  far  ought  a  Christian  to  follow  fashion?" 
Just  as  far  as  it  will  conform  to  a  holy  life.  Etha, 
this  question  lies  at  the  very  root  of  Christian  ex- 
perience and  Christian  life.  I  do  not  believe  you, 
or  any  other  respectable  girl,  can  be  pleased  with  a 


88         LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

hypocrite;  and  certainly  not  with  hypocrisy.  The 
world  does  not  read  the  Bible  or  religious  books 
very  much,  but  it  reads  you  and  reads  me.  It  scans 
the  life  of  the  Christian;  it  translates  every  line  of 
the  vocabulary  of  our  life  acts.  They  often  under- 
stand us  better  than  we  do  ourselves.  Understand 
me,  I  have  said  that  we  may  have  holy  fashions 
as  well  as  sinful  ones;  and  I  must  say,  as  a  man  de- 
termined to  stand  up  for  the  highest  principles  of 
virtue,  that  it  is  the  Christian's  business  to  follow 
fashions  of  holiness  and  virtue.  For  example, 
there  are  a  large  class  of  our  fellow-citizens  who 
run  as  naturally  to  the  fashion  of  theater-going  as 
water  runs  down  hill.  They  think  it  is  right, 
legitimate,  love  it,  and  pursue  it.  This  is  a  fashion 
Christians  should  not  follow.  As  a  branch  of  en- 
tertaining society  it  is  pernicious.  Its  very  make- 
up compels  this  influence  and  conclusion.  Who- 
ever knew  of  a  theater  manager  being  a  Christian? 
You  might  as  well  undertake  to  have  fire  without 
heat  as  for  an  unchristian  person  to  form  suitable 
society  and  fashions  for  a  Christian.  What  is  a 
Christian?  Not  a  bare  professional  human  being, 
but  a  new  creature.  The  subject  of  a  kingdom 
that  is  not  of  this  world;  though  living  in  the  world, 
not  of  it.  Having  a  citizenship  in  heaven,  he 
breathes  joys  that  this  world  knows  nothing  about. 
This  many  a  sainted  soul  on  earth,  and  many  a 


i  \MIION.  89 

one  in  glory,  can  attest.  I  know  it.  Others  know 
it.  Neither  wicked  men  nor  devils  can  gainsay  this 
fact.  They  have  that  which  can  satisfy  the  soul; 
and  when  the  fashion  of  the  world  passeth  away, 
they  will  continue  to  bathe  in  the  ocean  of  un- 
sullied bliss.  Ever}'  emotion  of  our  immortal  na- 
ture exults  over  this  blissful  heart  experience,  or 
cries  out  for  it  from  the  depths  of  the  heart  ;  and 
there  can  be  no  deception  in  this  matter.  There  is 
no  lasting  satisfaction  in  gold,  silver,  and  the 
pleasures  of  the  world  ;  but  there  is  of  a  true 
knowledge  of  God  in  the  soul.  The  theater,  then, 
cannot  spread  a  table  suitable  for  the  Christian.  It 
would  be  like  asking  one  who  had  been  accustomed 
to  drink  from  a  pure  stream  now  to  drink  from  a 
muddy  pool.  Then,  in  a  word,  I  say  to  all  Chris- 
tians, do  not  follow  a  baneful  thing  to  your  hurt 
because  it  is  fashion.  "Is  a  fashionable  woman 
necessarily  a  vain  and  worldly  one?"  If  you 
mean  because  she  dresses  finely,  and  moves  in  the 
higher  circles  of  culture,  I  answer  no.  Possibly 
there  may  be  a  heart  of  love,  grace,  and  consecra- 
tion behind  all  this.  I  believe  I  have  known  such, 
the  genuineness  of  whose  experience,  and  the  cor- 
rectness of  whose  life  none  could  question.  Cir- 
cun  st-mces  beyond  their  control  may  have  actuated 
them  along  such  fashionable  lines.  Piety  can 
reign  as  well  in  a  palace  as  in.  a  cabin  ;  and  there 


90  LETTERS   TO    A    YOUNG   LADY. 

may  be  no  more  religion  in  a  calico  than  a  silk 
dress.  Some  people  have  just  as  much  pride  in 
poverty  as  others  do  in  rishes.  What  should  be 
guarded  against  is  taking  steps  in  any  fashion  that 
will  hurt  and  destroy.  "/<?  it  a  weakness  to  adhere 
strictly  to  the  established  laws  of  society,  or  evi- 
dence of  strength  of  character  to  follow  one's  con- 
victions in  matters  of  conformity ?"  Evidence  of 
strength  to  follow  convictions.  This  is  a  vital 
point  that  our  girls  need  to  study  and  learn 
thoroughly.  With  all  the  mighty  powers  of  a 
young  woman,  wisdom  and  decision  are  jewels. 
Rightly-toned,  no  young  lady  can  have  too  much  of 
these;  and  in  these  times  when  fashions,  good  and 
bad,  change  so  often,  she  needs  them.  Firmness 
for  the  right  is  the  demand  of  the  hour.  The 
world  admires  it.  And  with  all  the  love  of  my 
heart,  the  wisdom  of  my  mind,  and  the  power  of 
my  pen  and  voice,  I  urge  you  to  take  this  position 
and  hold  it. 

Sincerely, 

YOUR  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XYII1. 

YOU  CAN  BENEFIT  YOUNG  MEN  FRIENDS. 

My  Dear  Niece: — I  am  intensely  interested  in 
the  questions  asked  about  the  relations  and  influ- 
ences between  young  ladies  and  young  men.  None 
are  more  vital  and  none  can  be  more  powerful  for 
good  or  evil.  It  is  in  the  light  of  this  feeling  and 
this  position  that  1  write  you  this  letter.  Listen, 
my  dear  Etha,  while  in  answering  your  questions, 
I  give  some  hints  and  helps  to  direct  you  in  your 
intercourse  with  young  men. 

"  For  what  are  young  ladies  suited  in  their  in- 
tercourse with  young  men?"  Much  everyway. 
Before  I  proceed  to  give  you  some  ideas  of  im- 
portant things  in  their  intercourse,  I  want  to  just 
call  your  attention  again  to  the  superior  adaptabil- 
ity of  a  young  lady  to  shape  and  mold  the  life  of  a 
young  man,  such  as  God  never  gave  to  an  angel, 
and  such  as  no  other  created  being  ever  had.  An 
angel  cannot  sympathize  with  man  in  his  low  es- 
tate, and  surely  cannot  help  him  in  his  needs,  moral, 
mental  and  physical.  The  headship  of  woman  in 
influence  and  power  over  the  man  is  indefinable, 
unexplainable  and  simply  immense.  If  rightly 

* 


92  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

balanced  and  appropriated,  is  likewise  sweet,  sooth- 
ing, elevating  and  blessed,  amid  the  rough  tossings 
of  the  world.  She  is  suited  in  the  first  place  to 
win  him.  The  very  office  of  her  nature  is  to  con- 
strain and  attract  the  man.  Not  passionately,  but 
to  elevate  and  build  him  up  in  the  best  position  of 
Heaven-given  manhood.  This  she  can  do  as  can  no 
other,  and  this  she  is  called  upon  to  do.  Of  course 
she  can  take  the  opposite  course  if  she  chooses  and 
debase  him  if  she  so  elects.  But  every  instinct  of 
her  nature  will  recoil  at  such  a  thought.  The  sad 
step  of  misfortune  in  some  way  will  have  hardened 
her  nature  and  plunged  her  into  the  plottings  of  /evil 
before  she  can  consent  to  this.  Then  how  much 
every  young  lady  should  exert  herself  at  the  very 
beginning  of  life,  to  lay  plans,  study  methods,  anjd 
fully  equip  herself  to  do  duty  for  young  men.  And 
you  know  there  is  no  lack  of  opportunity.  The 
schools  for  this  training  for  both  sexes  are  numer- 
ous. The  young  ladies  want  beaux  and  the  young 
men  want  to  be  beaux.  Disposition  and  determin- 
ation for  the  right  thing  is  what  you  need.  Win- 
ning power,  I  say,  is  in  your  possession.  And  you 
could  no  more  divest  a  young  lady  of  this,  than 
you  could  remove  a  mountain  with  one  revolution 
of  a  horse-power  engine.  By  this  you,  and  you  alone, 
are  suited  to  lead  young  men  up  or  down.  And 
just  here  let  me  allude  to  one  feature  decidedly 


YOU  CAN  BENEFIT  YOUNG  MEN  FRIENDS.     93 

calling  for  attention  at  this  present  time.  It  is  so- 
ber thought  and  intelligent  intercourse.  Do  not 
misunderstand  me.  I  would  not  have  the  girls 
and  boys  live  without  reasonable  pastime  and  pleas- 
ures. Social  amusements  they  ought  to  have  and 
must  have.  But  they  should  be  studied,  closely 
calculated,  and  wisely  entered  into.  Worldly  pleas- 
ures are  running  riot,  and  our  young  people  are 
becoming  notorious  for  passionate  rioting.  The 
fruit  of  this  is  already  beyond  the  budding.  It  hangs 
in  clusters.  It  is  fair  but  bitter.  The  serpent  is 
striking  his  fangs  into  every  avenue  of  society,  and 
poisoning  the  blood  in  well-nigh  every  artery  of 
our  social  being.  The  church  is  fast  becoming  dis- 
graced, and  the  better  classes  of  the  world  are  be- 
coming alarmed  at  the  worldly  follies  and  sins 
that  are  being  led  on 'often  by  our  choicest  young 
ladies.  And  there  will  be  no  change  until  the 
young  ladies  make  it.  You  can  do  it  and  you 
ought  to  do  it.  God  your  Maker,  and  to  whom  yon 
must  give  account,  requires  it.  Your  own  happi- 
ness and  the  happiness  of  young  men  demand  it. 
I  have  said  that  intelligent  intercourse  is  the  de- 
mand of  the  hour.  A  young  man  is  introduced  to 
a  young  lady.  He  seeks  her  company.  The  last 
strawberry  festival,  church  fair,  Pinafore  dance, 
that  "round  dance"  of  hugs  and  hops  (which,  alas, 
too  often  forms  a  stepping-stone  to  ruin),  the  even- 


94  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

ing  at  a  theater,  and  the  neck-tie  party,  have  all 
alike  prepared  her  to  fill  his  mind  with  shallow 
nonsense  and  anything  but  knowledge  and  influ- 
ence that  would  elevate  his  mind  and  heart.  His 
higher  nature  is  craving  something  better.  She 
has  been  educated,  and  could  impart  knowledge, 
love,  and  blessing.  But  she  is  a  lady  and  it  would 
be  considered  rude  to  otherwise  than  receive  the 
entertainment,  though  it  be  distasteful  and  even 
dis«;ustinof.  Her  manner  arid  affections  con  troll- 

O  v7 

ingly  win.  Like  the  fountain  that  starts  the  lit- 
tle rivulet  that  broadens  into  the  vast  lake,  like 
the  little  spark  of  fire  that  kindles  into  the  confla- 
gration of  a  city,  so  has  she  set  in  motion  thought 
and  decisions  vast  in  proportions.  What  possibil- 
ities are  before  young  ladies  if  they  will  improve 
them. 

Having  this  predominating  influence,  they  are 
suited  to  turn  the  pennies  of  young  men  into  chan- 
nels of  saving,  economy  and  wealth.  Do  not  think 
you  have  nothing  to  do  with  a  young  man's  pocket 
book.  You  have  much.  He  will  do  just  as  you 
say.  If  you  encourage  him  to  get  fine  presents, 
hire  liveries  on  Sunday,  take  you  to  the  demoraliz- 
ing influences  of  the  theater  and  pay  heavily  for  it, 
lavish  his  money  on  useless,  or  worse  than  useless, 
notions  for  your  pleasure,  you  need  not  wonder  that 
he  is  a  spendthrift,  and  by  and  by  you  have  a  scanty, 
needy  home  that  should  have  otherwise  been  happy, 


YOU  CAN  BENEFIT  YOUNG  MEN  FRIENDS.    95 

prosperous  and  well  supplied.  It  is  just  what  yon 
have  made  it.  I  just  call  to  mind  a  young  lady  who 
encouraged  her  affianced  to  give  her  a  diamond 
ring  far  beyond  his  means.  After  her  marriage  she 
had  to  be  cared  for  by  her  friends.  You  shape 
the  contents  of  his  pocket  book  as  well  as  his  heart 
and  brain. 

You  are  suited  also  to  his  moral  training  and 
decisions.  The  religious  state  of  your  young  men 
friends  cannot  escape  your  influence  and  notice. 
These  they  will  feel  keenly.  I  have  referred  to  this 
in  some  former  letters.  But,  Etha,  if  there  is  any- 
thing in  the  world  that  needs  repeating  and  press- 
ing home  again  and  again  it  is  this.  I  may  be 
talking  to  some  who  will  read  these  lines,  who  are 
utterly  indifferent  to  the  religious  condition  of  men. 
If  so  they  will  have  little  weight.  But  I  know 
there  are  multitudes  of  young  ladies  who  heartily 
sigh  to  have  good  young  men  about  them.  Such 
are  the  ones  above  all  others  to  make  them  good. 
You  can  lead  them  and  make  them  good.  And  1 
know  of  no  way  so  effective  as  prayers  with  them. 
"What  well-wishing  woman  ever  lived  who  would 
not  like  to  hear  the  voice  of  man  in  prayer.  And 
do  you  think  your  voice  in  like  manner  would  be 
powerless?  Your  voice  from  a  heart  full  of  love, 
affection,  tenderness  and  womanly  blessing,  power- 
less? Never,  no,  never.  This  is  the  greatest  moral 


96  LETTERS   TO   A   YOUNG    LADY. 

power  in  the  world.  Because  some  will  scout  this 
idea  I  cannot  withhold  it.  It  is  true.  Try  it  and 
you  will  find  it  so.  The  men  of  our  land  are,  to- 
day, sighing  in  their  hearts  for  the  want  of  this. 

And  this  leads  me  to  say,  also,  that  in  my  judg- 
ment there  is  no  class  so  well  adapted  to  lead  on 
the  work  of  reform  among  young  men.  And  what 
a  work  would  be  wrought  to  save  them  from  the 
debasing  influences  of  strong  drink,  tobacco  and 
bad  associations  if  each  young  lady  as  she  has  op- 
portunity, would  do  the  work  she  cfught.  "Will 
not  you,  my  dear  niece,  begin  to  bear  your  part  at 
once  as  never  before? 

"Can  this  benefit  be  given  by  example?"  Of 
course  much  can  be  done  in  this  way.  But  we  live 
in  a  time  when  words  as  well  as  acts  are  needed. 
Young  ladies  ought  to  speak  out,  to  rebuke  the  bad 
and  extol  the  good.  To  condemn  sin  arid  insist 
upon  virtue.  And  a  young  lady  could  no  more  do 
all  her  duty  in  these  things  by  silent  example,  than 
could  a  school  teacher  do  his  work  by  example 
with  no  instruction  by  words. 

"  Are  young  men  susceptible  to  this  great  influ- 
ence?" To  think  after  all  the  beaux  you  have  en- 
tertained, after  all  your  frolics  with  young  men,  and 
after  all  the  good  influence  you  have  exerted,  you 
should  ask  me  such  a  question.  But  I  suppose 
you  wanted  to  see  what  I  would  say.  Well,  my 


YOU    CAN    BENEFIT    YOUNG    MKX    FRIENDS.  07 

answer  is  that  they  are  most  decidedly  so.  Yes, 
decidedly.  No  person  or  class  of  persons  can  be 
more  affected  by  this  influence. 

Is  it  true  that  young  ladies  have  more  influence 
over  young  men  than  young  men  over  young  ladies? 
They  do.  The  very  nature  of  the  case  forbids  it 
being  otherwise.  Respectfully. 


LETTER  XIX. 

SKEPTICISM  OF  YOUNG  LADIES. 

My  Dear  Niece: — Treating  on  this  subject,  I 
mean  skepticism  in  regard  to  the  Bible,  religious 
truth,  religious  thought,  and  religious  experience. 
Unbelief  is  sad.  Faith  is  good.  And  I  judge,  dear 
Etha,  bv  the  questions  you  ask  me  upon  this  matter, 
that  you  are  no  stranger  to  the  temptations  of 
many  girls  to  entertain  doubts  about  the  greatest 
and  best  of  all  systems  that  ever  blest  the  world. 
The  imbedded  inclinations  of  every  heart  are  to 
raise  the  puny  hand  against  God.  This  is  natural. 
It  cannot  be  otherwise.  The  depraved  heart  for- 
bids. In  earlier  or  later  years,  a  radical  change 
must  be  wrought,  to  turn  this  tide  of  thought  and  ac- 
tion. Here  is  the  conflict,  the  moral  battle-ground. 
Here  the  girls  begin  the  warfare  for  soul  bondage  or 
soul  liberty,  and  I  confess  it  is  a  warfare  often  of  no 
small  magnitude.  Nevertheless,  in  every  instance 
she  may  have  a  victory  without  the  loss  of  a  single 
battle.  Brain,  heart,  and  every  fiber  of  her  nature, 
will  often  be  strained  to  the  highest  tension  in  this 
battle  of  thought,  doctrines,  and  conclusions. 

"  WJuit  is  the  cause  of  skepticism  in  young  la/- 


98 


SKEPTICISM  OF  YOUNG  LADIES.  99 

dieisf" — One  thing,  and  only  one.  The  natural 
state  of  the  sinful,  carnal  heart.  Do  you  see  that 
wide  and  deep  flowing  river?  The  fountain  away 
up  in  the  side  of  yonder  hill  was  its  beginning. 
It  might  have  gathered  many  tributaries  in  its 
course,  but  that  was  its  beginning.  So  with  this 
young  lady  so  skeptical  and  unbelieving.  Her  nat- 
ural heart  was  against  God  and  the  higher  moral 
state.  Do  you  tell  me  she  was  amiable  and  lovely 
when  a  babe  and  a  girl?  That  may  be.  So  with 
many.  But  if  you  apply  the  test  as  the  chemist 
does  to  the  counterfeit,  you  will  find  the  seeds 
of  antagonism  to  the  divine  will  in  that  heart., 
They  are  in  the  heart  of  every  girl.  With  some, 
more  marked  and  determined,  and  with  others, 
in  a  milder  form.  Training  at  home,  social  as- 
sociations, surroundings  at  school,  public  teach- 
ings, and  varied  circumstances,  may  contribute  to 
the  development  of  this,  I  may  almost  say,  preva- 
lent evil.  It  is  dangerous  for  a  young  lady  to  even 
cherish  knowingly  one  thought  of  unbelief. — 
k>  Breakers  "  are  there,  and  the  beautiful  vessel  may 
soon  be  dashed  to  pieces  upon  them,  and  that,  too, 
in  the  darkest  night.  Her  virtues  and  character 
are  of  too  much  value  to  be  thus  let  loo  e  unbridled. 
Advantage  will  be  taken  by  wily  foes  to  build 
upon  the  original  cause,  and  add  other  causes  to 
the  poisonous  sentiments  of  unbelief.  And  with 


100          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUXG  LADY. 

all  the  power  of  my  pen  and  heart,  impelled  by  the 
sad  testimonies  of  a  long  array  of  witnesses  in 
years  past,  up  to  this  present,  I  urge  and  entreat 
young  ladies  to  beware  of  the  entertainment  and 
consequences  of  skeptical  hearts.  In  one  form  or 
other  they  degenerate,  and  continually  lead  down- 
ward. 

"  Do  not  men  generally,  however  skeptical  they 
inay  be  themselves,  admire  religious  belief  and 
conduct  in  woman?  " — In  all  my  life,  and  in  all 
grades  of  society,  not  a  single  exception  to  the  af- 
firmative of  this  question  have  I  known.  Neither 
do  I  ever  expect  to  know  of  one.  In  spite  of  all 
infidel  sentiments  and  influences,  this  conviction 
lies  buried  throughout  our  land.  Thanks  for  its 
resurrection  on  all  proper  occasions.  Every  man 
wants  a  good  wife;  and  every  man  wants  a  mother 
to  guard  and  bring  up  his  children,  who  is  good, 
and  that  by  every  word  and  act  of  her  life  gives 
assurance  that  her  instruction  shall  be  for  good, 
and  not  evil.  Think  of  a  wife  and  mother  who 
is  a  Sabbath  breaker,  a  swearer,  perchance  a  drunk- 
ard, a  thief,  a  liar,  or  an  infidel,  any  or  all  of  these! 
What  man  man  could  respect  and  love  such  a  one  as 
the  trainer  of  his  children,  and  the  head  sunlight 
of  his  home?  Yea,  may  I  not  ask,  can  he  admire 
her  in  crude  manners,  coarse  and  unwomanly  ap- 
pearance, and  anything  but  gentle  and  lady- like 


SKEPTICISM   OF   YOUNG    LADIES.  101 

in  speech?  No,  no!  A  true  husband  ever  wishes 
to  admire  the  presence  and  appearance,  and  belief 
of  his  wife,  yea,  of  every  woman,  whether  she  be 
his  wife  or  not.  This  is  the  very  instinctive  long- 
ing of  his  heart.  Would  that  I  could  press  this  in 
thunder  tones  upon  every  young  lady.  It  is  just 
here  that  many  a  young  lady  makes  a  mistake. 
For  fear  of  offending  her  beau,  or  losing  her 
chance  of  marriage,  she  will  smother  her  convic- 
tions, and  appear  to  have  indecision.  No  young 
man  who  is  worthy  and  has  good  elements  of  man- 
hood in  him  could  respect  such  a  course.  Good 
minded  men  cannot  be  fooled  in  that  way.  But 
otherwise,  to  my  certain  knowledge,  they  admire 
religious  decision  in  any  woman.  And  to  all  the 
young  ladies  who  shall  read  these  lines,  I  do  feel  to 
state  this  feature  strongly. 

"What  are  some  of  the  baneful  effects  of  skep- 
ticism upon  a  young  lady?  " — Skepticism  is  in- 
variably demoralizing  in  habits  and  influence.  And 
not  unfrequently  fearfully  so.  This  is  felt  adversely 
upon  her  influence  at  home.  It  weakens  the 
power  of  her  moral  forces  for  her  own  happiness 
and  that  of  others.  This  is  vital.  But  it  does  not 
stop  here.  She  has  associates  and  influence,  and 
here  her  sad  and  false  doctrines  will  exert  their 
power.  It  will  often  lead  her  best  friends  to  grieve 
and  be  suspicions  of  her  future  influence.  I  do 


102        LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

not  mean  to  intimate  that  her  chastity  may  not  be 
right,  or  her  life  pure,  so  far  as  moral  citizenship 
is  concerned,  but  it  is  deeply  imbedded  in  the  heart 
of  the  people  in  this  Christian  land,  that  if  a  woman 
is  a  skeptic,  she  is  not  as  strong  morally  as  she 
might  and  ought  to  be.  But  the  saddest  effect  is, 
it  will  ruin  her  soul. 

"  WJiatis  the  lest  cure  for  her  skepticism?  " — 
Stop  it.  This  can  be  done  by  yielding  to  honest 
convictions.  I  mean  the  convictions  that  in  spite 
of  all  unbelief  hold  faithfully  to  the  commendation 
of  all  that  is  good.  An  honest  reading  and  study 
of  the  Bible  will  go  a  long  way  toward  removing 
this  moral  incubus  that  so  preys  upon  society. 
You  are  not  the  first  one  who  has  inquired,  "What 
is  the  best  cure?"  Many  a  one  well-nigh  stranded 
upon  the  very  sandbars  of  unbelief  has  done  it. 
I  warn,  entreat  and  beseech  you  to  stop  in  these 
fiist  steps  of  your  danger.  And  I  say  again,  read 
the  Bible  with  an  honest  heart.  You  should  dread 
to  be  caught  in  the  meshes  of  unbelief,  as  a  burnt 
child  would  dread  the  tire.  It  would  be  as  difficult 
to  gather  choice  fruit  from  your  life  after  you  have 
allowed  infidelity  to  take  root,  as  it  would  be  to 
raise  a  good  crop  of  vegetables  from  a  nice  garden 
after  the  weeds  and  briers  had  been  permitted  to 
grow.  Check,  then,  the  very  buddings  of  doubt 
in  your  heart.  Do  not  say,  "I  cannot."  You  can. 


SKEPTICISM  OF  YOUNG  LADIES.  103 

You  can  control  this  as  well  as  your  education  in 
other  things.  I  do  not  mean  to  say  it  is  all  a  mat- 
ter of  culture.  God  your  Maker  will  help  you. 
He  is  pledged  to  do  it.  The  fanner  does  not  grow 
the  wheat.  He  plows  and  sows,  and  looks  to  Him 
who  sends  rain  on  the  just  and  on  the  unjust,  to 
give  the  crop.  Then,  my  friend,  employ  the  means, 
read  good  books,  study  good  things,  seek  wise 
counsel,  and  ask  the  All- wise  to  help  and  deliver 
you,  and  he  will  do  it.  Let  no  young  lady  tell  me 
she  cannot.  She  might  just  as  well  tell  me  she 
could  not  save  herself  from  the  assaults  and  threat- 
en ings  of  an  impure  life.  You  may,  and  ought,  as 
a  young  lady  in  the  very  beginning  of  womanhood, 
to  lay  hold  of  helps  and  experiences  that  will  bless 
your  whole  life  with  the  unspeakable  joys  of  true 
faith. 

YOUR  UNOLE. 


LETTER  XX. 

TREATMENT  OF  THE  UNFORTUNATE. 

My  Dear  Niece  Etha: — This  letter  opens  a  sub- 
ject well  worthy  the  attention  of  the  highest  gift. 
It  is  no  less  than  love  and  care  for  unfortunate 
girls.  I  do  not  mean  those  left  orphans  or  without 
homes,  but  those  who  have  taken  sad  steps  into  sin. 
Amid  my  heart  sympathies  and  earnest  work  to 
save  my  fellowmen  for  years,  this  subject  has  called 
forth  pity  and  love,  and  burning  words  of  rebuke, 
hope  and  winning;  rebuke  to  many  good  women 
who  idly  look  on  without  extending  help  and  hope 
to  the  worst  who  have  fallen. 

All  good  people  are  agreed  that  the  condition  of 
an  unfortunate  girl  is  a  sad  one,  and  that  a  helping 
hand  should  be  stretched  out  to  the  rescue  and 
blessing  of  every  such  one.  But  the  question  is, 
how,  when  and  by  whom  shall  the  work  be  done? 
Of  course  I  can  only  give  a  very  few  hints  in  this 
short  letter.  May  the  Lord  ripen  them  into  words 
and  acts  of  comfort  by  somebody  and  in  some  way, 
to  some  unfortunate  girl  who  is  eating  the  bread  of 
sorrow.  Sure  am  I  that  it  is  a  burning  shame  that 
the  more  fortunate  woman  and  girls  of  our  land 

104 


TREATMENT  OF  THE  UNFORTUNATE.      105 

treat  this  class  with  the  contempt  and  neglect  that 
they  do.  I  know  that  female  nature  is  keen  and 
sensitive.  And  when  a  girl  has  taken  a  misstep  all 
her  sex  feel  that  they  are  brought  into  reproach. 
But  this  is  no  justification  of  neglect  of  the  abused 
and  sad,  even  though  they  may  be  in  the  lowest 
depths  of  filth  and  degradation.  Not  long  since  a 
woman,  fine  and  commanding  in  words  and  appear- 
ance, stood  before  an  audience  of  women,  and  stated 
that  she  knew  a  young  woman  who  went  astray; 
step  after  step  she  plunged  into  the  depths.  In 
character  she  had  reached  almost  the  lowest  depths 
of  infamy,  blackness  and  misery.  In  words  obscene 
and  blasphemous,  her  equal  could  hardly  be  found. 
She  had  indeed  become  a  terror  to  all  around. 
Sitting  one  day  upon  a  box  in  an  unfurnished  room, 
haggard  and  wretched,  a  kind,  loving  woman — one 
of  Jesus'  representatives — came  by  her  side  and 
printed  a  kiss  upon  her  forehead.  "What  did  you 
do  that  for?"  was  the  ugly  response.  "  Because  / 
love  you"  was  the  reply,  "  Nobody  loves  me," 
was  the  retort.  At  this  the  kiss  was  repeated.  It 
subdued  her.  She  was  melted  into  tenderness, 
repentance  and  virtue,  and  was  saved.  After  relat- 
ing the  narrative,  the  speaker  continued:  "And  that 
miserable,  lost  woman,  now  saved,  stands  before 
you  to-day."  Of  course  the  whole  assembly  were 
melted  into  tears,  tenderness  and  love,  but  the 


106        LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG-  LADY. 

question  comes,  "  Who'll  be  the  next,"  to  go  and 
do  likewise?  Will  not  every  woman,  young  or 
old,  who  reads  these  lines,  ask  herself  the  ques- 
tion, Have  I  personally  anything  to  do  in  this  mat- 
ter? 

Is  it  the  mission  of  woman  to  treat  such  a  class 
for  reform? 

My  dear  Etha,  how  would  you  answer  that  ques- 
tion yourself  ?  I  hear  you  say,  "  Certainly."  And 
I  join  you  heart  and  hand  in  that  answer.  When 
a  young  lady  is  sick  with  fever  or  accident,  do  you 
call  the  carpenter,  the  shoemaker,  the  baker,  the 
laborer,  or  men  of  any  profession,  to  soothe,  nurse 
and  care  for  her  when  a  woman  can  be  found  to  do 
it?  Never.  Then  why  in  the  saddest  of  all  sick- 
ness? Call  in  the  helps  of  men  if  you  will,  all  the 
helps  possible,  but  let  the  women  stand  in  their  lot 
and  place  in  this  matter. 

A  diamond  ring  slipped  from  the  finger  of  an 
elegantly  dressed  lady  into  the  filth  and  sewerage 
of  the  gutter  as  she  alighted  from  the  carriage. 
She  asked  a  man  near  by  to  put  his  hand  in  and 
get  it  out.  He  waited  a  little,  then  made  the  effort, 
but  failed,  saying  it  had  probably  washed  along  and 
gone  down  into  the  sewer.  "  Gone  down  into  the 
sewer!"  What  a  startling  thought  about  the  dia- 
mond; but  a  million  times  more  dreadful  about  the 
girls  of  untold  worth,  who  are  being  washed  into 


TKEATMENT  OF  THE  UNFORTUNATE.      107 

the  sewer  of  moral  and  eternal  death,  while  so  many 
proud,  elegantly-dressed  women  are  asking  the  men 
to  do  the  work  of  saving  them.  As  the  words,  "  It 
has  probably  washed  down  into  the  sewer,"  escaped 
the  man's  lips,  the  lady  took  off  her  glove,  and 
pushing  back  her  silks,  ruffles  and  laces,  and  plung- 
ing her  hand  into  the  filth  and  dirty  water,  soon 
brought  up  the  bright  diamond.  This  woman  did 
what  the  man  failed  to  do.  So  the  women  of  our 
land  everywhere  should  push  back  the  silks,  laces 
and  ruffles,  and  go  in  search  of  the  lost  girls  who 
once  shone  so  brightly,  but  are  now  buried  in  the 
sewers  of  sin.  This  is  one  of  the  imperative  de- 
mands of.  the  hour.  But  I  hear  you  say  many 
good  young  women  hesitate  even  to  be  seen  in  such 
company,  because  of  the  fear  of  public  opinion.  In 
the  name  of  heaven,  then  crush  public  opinion  !  1 
I  know  that  this  idea  of  "  public  opinion  "  is  as  a 
mighty  besom  that  is  sweeping  against  the  tide  of 
moral  reform.  Go,  in  spite  of  it.  Guard  well  your 
character  and  life.  Take  a  police,  half  a  dozen  if 
need  be,  any  men  or  women  of  character,  to  stand 
guard  while  you  go  behind  the  curtain  to  bring 
forth  the  lost  jewel.  Oh,  that  the  young  ladies  of 
our  land  would  undertake  this  work,  and  give  the 
world  to  understand  that  they  mean  business. 
Then,  what  a  power  and  what  results  1 
"  Should  they  be  treated  with  charity?  " 


108         LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

There  is  no  other  way  to  treat  them  successfully. 
Jesus  did  so,  and  in  carrying  out  the  work  it  is 
evident  that  he  summoned  to  his  aid  all  those 
women  who  labored  with  him  in  the  Gospel. 

Sin  may  and  should  be  reproved  at  proper  times 
and  places,  but  kindness  and  love  are  invariably  the 
sure  remedies.  Kindly  sympathy  is  what  the  fallen 
and  suffering  want. 

"  How  should  they  be  treated  if  belonging  to 
one's  own  kindred  and  circle?  " 

Very  much  as  though  it  were  otherwise.  The 
sin  is  the  same,  the  sorrow  of  heart  is  the  same, 
the  pangs  strike  just  as  deep,  and  the  needs  are  the 
same.  All  these  just  the  same  before  God.  There 
is  a  "  blood  tie  "  of  heart  nearness  that  should  not 
and  can  not  be  broken.  But  in  the  cure  of  the 
malady  this  should  be  overlooked  as  far  as  possible. 

It  is  true  that  the  lost  diamond  while  it  is  in  the 
sewer  is  worth  just  as  much,  whether  it  belongs  to 
you  or  any  other,  and  when  found  shines  just  as 
bright.  It  is  the  getting  it  out  that  we  are  after. 
And  when  restored,  it  may  be  more  precious  to 
the  owner  than  ever  before. 

"  How  should  they  be  treated  after  being  re- 
claimed? " 

Not  by  neglect,  as  if  the  work  of  saving  was 
complete.  There  should  be  the  greatest  care  and 
uursing.  Entertain  the  greatest  degree  of  confi- 


TREATMENT  OF  THE  UNFORTUNATE.      109 

dence  and  assurance  in  the  matter.  Then  use  the 
means  to  establish  this  position.  Every  reform  that 
lias  ever  succeeded  in  the  world  has  employed  these 
weapons.  As  with  the  success  of  an  enterprise,  so 
with  an  individual.  The  apparently  strong  babe 
needs  for  growth  and  life  to  be  tenderly  nursed  and 
cared  for  as  much  as  the  sickly  one.  In  teaching 
sympathy  and  help  this  should  be  made  a  personal 
matter.  And  do  not  forget  or  neglect  to  pray  with 
as  well  as/br,  the  restored  ones.  Sit  by  their  side 
in  a  retired  way  not  unfrequently,  and  point  out 
comforting  and  sustaining  words  of  Scripture,  and 
bow  with  them  in  mutual  vocal  prayer,  bringing 
before  God  every  temptation,  weakness,  want  and 
need.  This  will  help,  happify  and  save. 

"  How  is  society  wont  to  treat  the  unfortunates?" 
Usually  as  though  they  were  abandoned  of  God 
and  man.  And  it  is  a  sad  picture  to  know  of  this 
treatment  as  we  do.  It  is  Satan  in  public  opinion. 
True,  there  are  noble  exceptions  to  this.  But  in 
the  church  and  good  society,  where  we  have  a  right 
to  look  for  help  and  u  bread,"  they  get  neglect  and 
a  "stone."  And  of  course  the  world,  the  chilly 
world,  will  not  do  the  work  of  reform,  and  could 
not  do  it  properly  if  they  would.  They  might  do 
much  toward  saving  the  lost  body,  but  the  soul  they 
can  not  bless.  I  must  just  add  before  closing  this 
letter,  that  there  should  bo  a  guarding  of  our  words 


110        LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

in  condemning  the  unfortunate,  because  we  may 
know  so  little  of  the  motives  and  circumstances 
which  led  them  astray.  Matters  entirely  beyond 
their  control  may  have  forced  the  first  step.  And 
then,  perchance,  unintentionally  they  were,  driven 
on  by  those  who  should  have  given  sympathy  and 
love,  and  have  led  in  the  better  way. 

YOUR  AFFECTIONATE  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XXI. 

TEMPTATIONS  AT  SCHOOL. 

My  Dear  Niece: — You  know  little  now  about  the 
influence  of  your  school  days.  It  makes  little  dif- 
ference whether  they  are  improved  or  unimproved 
to  make  them  a  felt  power  in  the  years  to  come. 
If  evil,  it  will  be  felt.  If  good,  it  will  be  felt. 
As  true  as  there  is  a  character,  it  is  being  stamped 
in  school  days.  And  it  is,  doubtless,  too  true 
that  the  great  majority  of  our  youth  fail  to  com- 
prehend the  good  possibilities  of  their  educational 
privileges  until  they  are  past.  Failure  indeed! 
And  a  lifetime  is  not  long  enough  to  measure  their 
regrets. 

It  is  so  sad  that  many  boys  and  girls,  in  dis- 
trict and  town  schools,  in  academy  and  college, 
seem  to  have  little  idea  that  the  school  to  which 
they  are  sent  is  other  than  a  courting  rendezvous, 
or  a  place  to  tease  the  citizens  by  taking  off  wagon 
wheels,  unhanging  gates,  ringing  bells,  shearing 
horses'  tails,  and  cutting  up  generally.  If  they  left 
home  with  other  ideas,  they  seem  soon  to  have  for- 
gotten them.  But  in  every  school  there  are  those 

who  have   measured  life  to  a  vast  extent  in  their 

m 


112  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

youth.  School  to  them  was  not  mere  play.  Pur- 
pose they  had,  and  purpose  they  pursued.  And 
what  sunshine  these  days  cast  upon  the  years  of 
their  life.  How  many  a  girl  has  found  it  so!  Her 
Jife  was  mapped  out  for  something  besides  fun  and 
frolic.  Brain  and  heart  had  she,  trained  and  ready 
for  brilliant  victories  amid  life's  battles. 

But  you  ask: 

"  What  do  you  consider  some  of  the  most  com- 
mon and  dangerous  temptations  of  a  young  lady 
at  school?  " 

Failing  to  apprehend  the  situation  in  the  aim  of 
her  studies.  Not  having  canvassed  this,  she  is  uii- 
able  to  grapple  with  difficulties  at  the  very  outset 
of  her  course.  Soon  she  lags  behind  and  gets  dis- 
couraged altogether.  Probably  most  are  tempted 
just  here,  and  those  who  succeed  have  to  rally  much 
perseverance  to  get  over  the  hill  difficulty.  Anoth- 
er temptation  is  the  neglect  of  the  Bible.  I  would 
as  soon  advise  a  young  woman  to  counsel  her  hus- 
band to  build  a  house  upon  a  sandbank  for  their 
life  home,  as  to  encourage  a  girl  to  pursue  a  course 
of  lettered  training  without  reading  the  Bible  every 
day.  It  is  no  use  to  try  to  disguise  the  fact,  wher- 
ever the  Bible  is  read  and  considered  an  important 
factor,  when  a  course  of  studies  are  pursued,  a  far 
better  code  of  morals  comes  forth  than  where  it  is 
not  Still  another  temptation  is  bad  company. 


TEMPTATIONS  AT  SCHOOL.  113 

This  can  be  often  found  in  schools  as  well  as  other 
places.  And  the  girls  are  often  prone  to  fall  into 
line  in  these  ranks.  We  are  not  obliged  to  go 
outside  the  circle  of  our  school  centers  to  find  bad 
company.  Indeed,  the  eye  of  many  a  bad  heart 
is  eagerly  watching  these  places.  This  is  a  good 
place  to  sow  tares  whenever  and  wherever  the 
enemy  can  plant  a  seed.  How  many  of  our  fair 
daughters  do  things  and  mingle  in  company  at 
school  such  as  they  would  be  ashamed  to  have 
known  at  home.  Some  think  it  is  no  harm  and 
will  do  no  harm  to  thus  cover  up  things  from  their 
parents.  But  I  think,  and  1  know,  it  is  a  very  dan- 
gerous road  to  travel.  But  perhaps  there  is  no 
more  baneful  temptation  to  young  ladies  in  school 
than  bad  literature  and  its  attendant  evils.  With- 
in the  last  few  years  especially,  a  snare  of  this  kind 
has  been  set  for  our  daughters  and  sisters.  Cata- 
logues have  been  obtained  from  numerous  schools, 
and  thereby  obtaining  the  address,  letters,  pam- 
phlets, and  periodicals  have  been  sent,  decoying 
the  girls  to  send  for  "  love  powders,"  and  the  like, 
and  thus  are  put  into  their  hands  the  weapons  of 
worse  than  moral  death.  Women  or  men  who 
would  do  such  a  thing,  if  possible,  would  seem 
worse  than  devils  incarnate.  But  so  it  is,  and  it 
most  earnestly  appeals  to  parents  and  daughters 
to  beware.  The  temptation  to  attend  places  of 


114          LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

amusement  during  school  sessions  is  often  baneful. 
If  yielded  to  it  almost  invariably  infringes  upon 
the  studies;  besides,  it  is  often  of  an  immoral  ten- 
dency. 

"Are  the  influences  of  school  antagonistic  to 
Christianity?"  Not  necessarily;  but  they  are  often 
permitted  to  be.  They  ought  to  be  helpful,  and,  I 
believe,  generally  are  so.  Yet  this  fact  does  not 
disguise  the  continual  efforts  of  the  enemies  to  our 
best  morals  to  plant  thistles,  and  cockle,  and  tares 
in  the  best  school  yards  of  our  land.  It  is  fast  be- 
coming a  prevalent  practice  of  unbelievers  to  es- 
tablish infidel  societies  under  the  very  eaves  of  our 
schools.  But,  thanks  to  the  Giver  of  grace  and 
truth,  "  the  foundation  standeth  sure." 

No:  the  influences  of  school  are  not  against 
Christianity.  Indeed,  they  are  our  strongholds. 
Christianity  without  education  would  be  like  steam 
upon  the  railroad  without  an  engine.  And  every 
young  lady  with  school  advantages  before  her,  will 
do  well  to  shun  temptations,  and  push  her  way  on 
to  victory. 

Sincerely, 

YOUR  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XXII. 

TRUE   HAPPINESS. 

My  Dear  Niece: — Actions  and  words  show  on 
every  hand  that  it  is  the  aim  of  everybody  to  take 
such  a  course  and  occupy  such  a  position  as  will 
insure  happiness,  true  happiness.  This  is  the  want 
of  every  soul,  both  for  this  world  and  another. 
"With  one  moment's  thought  young  ladies  are  fully 
aware  of  this.  And,  my  dear  Etha,  it  is  my  pur- 
pose in  penning  the  few  lines  of  this  letter  to  con- 
tribute some  hints  that  may  tend  to  your  happiness. 
And  not  only  to  make  you  happy,  but  as  happy  as 
it  is  possible  to  be.  Sure  am  I  if  I  can  do  this,  I 
shall  make  myself  happy  as  well  as  you.  Do  not 
draw  a  long  breath  now,  and  say,  "  Uncle  is  going 
to  write  as  though  he  had  been  drinking  vinegar, 
and  as  though  there  was  no  happiness  in  the  pleas- 
ures of  the  world."  Not  so.  I  would  not  have  you 
shut  yourself  away  from  the  unhurtful  pastimes  of 
the  world. 

I  know  that  in  my  former  letters  I  have  said 
some  plain  things,  and  insisted  on  such  a  course  as 
will  please  your  Creator,  bless  all  around  you  in 
the  world  and  reap  to  yourself  great  happiness. 


115 


116  LETTERS   TO    A   YOUNG    LADY. 

And  if  you  follow  a  tithe  of  the  suggestions  I  have 
made,  sure  am  I  you  will  not  be  wanting  in  the 
truest  features  of  a  happy  life.  And  your  eager- 
ness in  asking  me  about  this  matter  (some  of  which 
questions  I  shall  now  answer),  seems  to  give  me 
assurance  of  your  being  a  sincere  inquirer  after  the 
best  way  to  be  happy. 

"  Does  not  sinful  happiness  leave  a  sting f  " 

That  is  just  what  it  does.  What  a  record  the 
sinful  pleasures  of  the  world  attest  upon  this  point. 
And  it  is  indeed  strange  that  so  many  eagerly  rush 
into  schemes  that  will  happify  for  the  moment  or 
the  hour,  with  a  full  knowledge  that  the  next  mo- 
ment or  hour  they  must  endure  a  sting  like  the 
poisonous  bite  of  the  rattlesnake.  Sad  the  picture. 
It  does  not  pay.  And  with  what  satisfaction  will 
you  spend  the  years  of  your  old  age  if  now  in  early 
life  you  form  a  purpose  and  make  some  plan  by 
which,  as  far  as  possibilities  will  allow,  you  will 
never  indulge  in  any  scheme  of  earthly  pleasure 
that  will  leave  a  sting. 

"  Do  the  pleasures  and  excitements  of  society 
satisfy?  " 

Gratify!  Satisfy!  Look  at  these  two  words. 
Think  of  them.  Weigh  them.  Now  give  me  the 
decision  of  your  better  judgment.  Methinks  I 
hear  you  say,  "  The  transitory  pleasures  of  this 
world  may  gratify,  but  cannot  satisfy."  This  is 


TRUE    HAPPINESS.  117 

• 

true,  my  dear  Etha,  arid  it  is  folly  for  wise  or  fool- 
ish men  to  undertake  to  show  to  the  contrary.  How 
important,  then,  to  wisely  select  such  amusements 
as  will  please  and  elevate,  rather  than  those  which 
have  bad  associations,  dissipate  a  good  frame  of 
mind  and  debase  the  character.  Such  amusements 
there  are,  and  such  should  be  selected  by  every 
good-minded  person.  Then  you  will  have  gone  a 
long  way  toward  securing  true  happiness  for  this 
world.  While  I  am  touching  this  point,  let  me 
suggest  one  method.  The  girls  should  be  willing 
to  ask  direction  of  those  who  have  had  experience 
and  traveled  this  way  before  them.  If  you  wanted 
to  go  on  a  journey,  which  would  you  think  the 
wisest,  to  ask  direction  about  the  way  of  some  per- 
son who  had  been  over  the  road  before  and  had 
known  all  about  it  for  a  long  time,  or  one  who  had 
never  been  in  that  way  and  knew  nothing  about  it? 
You  say,  be  led  by  the  former,  by  all  means.  Then 
why  should  our  masses  of  young  people  rush  so 
madly  into  the  pleasures  of  the  "  paths  of  life," 
scorning  the  uplifted  voices  of  so  many  who  have 
passed  its  rugged  ways?  Why?  And  echo  answers 
why?  There  is  no  reason  except  that  it  be  sinful 
willfulness.  No  wonder  that  so  many  fair  girls 
and  choice  youth  are  often  found  drinking  the  bit- 
ter cup  of  sorrow,  and  that  the  columns  of  our  daily 
and  weekly  papers  are  fraught  with  troubles,  wrecks 


118  LETTERS    TO    A    YOUNG   LADY. 

and  moral  deaths,  issuing  from  the  circles  of  worldly 
pleasure  parties.  And  not  unfrequently  what  had 
been  considered  our  choicest  and  best  are  the  vie- 
tims.  Happiness  it  is  called.  Pleasure  there  may 
be,  but  it  is  like  a  teaspoonful  of  honey  to  a  gallon 
of  poisoned  water.  Let  me  ask  you,  ray  friend, 
never  to  sip  it  again  until  you  have  thoroughly 
tested  its  qualities.  Do  not  set  me  down  as  an  old 
fogy.  I  know  that  there  are  plenty  of  pastimes  and 
pleasures  for  our  youth  without  entering  into  the 
doubtful  and  hurtful. 

"Can  true  happiness  ever  ~be  attained?  " 

Yes,  it  can  be.  We  have  assurances  of  this  from 
the  Almighty  One,  the  wisest  and  best  of  all  beings. 
Would  he  teach  and  require  us  to  be  truly  happy  if 
it  were  impossible?  No,  no.  Mark,  I  do  not 
Bay  perfectly  happy,  but  truly  so.  In  no  sense  by 
our  own  merits  and  qualities,  and  in  the  view  of 
our  own  eyes  and  conceptions,  can  we  attain  per- 
fectness  here.  But  we  can  attain  such  moral  purity 
of  motive,  purpose  and  act  as  will  assure  us  satis- 
fying happiness.  Show  me  a  girl  who  determines 
to  live  to  do  all  possible  good  to  her  fellows  about 
her  and  avoid  everything  that  would  hurt  her  own 
soul,  and  I  will  show  you  one  truly  happy. 

"May  young  ladles  hope  to  find  true  happiness 
in  their  future  homes?" 

Not  unless  they  make  it  themselves.     N"o   one 


TRUE    HAPPINESS.  119 

can  make  a  happy  home  unless  the  wife  and  mother 
does.  Husband,  children  and  all  tlie  surroundings 
may  contribute  to  this  end.  But  it  is  impossible 
for  any  or  all  of  these  to  do  it  unless  she,  whom 
God  has  selected  to  be  the  sunlight  of  the  home, 
leads  the  way.  "While  I  assume  that  every  young 
lady,  or  nearly  every  young  lady,  expects  to  marry 
and  have  a  home,  let  me  add  that  not  one  can  ex- 
pect the  happiness  she  ought  to  have,  unless  there 
has  been  aim  at  it  in  her  early  habits  and  culture. 
As  well  might  a  man  of  forty  expect  to  become 
easily  and  well  educated,  if  he  has  neglected  to 
learn  the  letters  of  the  alphabet  when  young.  Her 
culture  should  be  stern  and  rigid  in  this  direction. 
In  some  of  my  former  letters  about  the  home  I  have 
insisted  upon  earnest  attention  to  these  things,  and 
would  here  repeat  in  substance  everything  I  have 
there  said.  For  the  happiness  of  our  girls,  and 
young  wives  and  mothers;  yes,  and  of  the  husband 
and  children,  I  feel  this  matter  most  keenly.  Not 
only  should  true  happiness  of  the  home  begin  in 
the  earliest  culture  of  girlhood,  but  it  should  find 
a  decidedly  important  juncture  when  the  young 
lady  accepts  the  hand  of  a  husband.  A  pledge  to 
support  and  protect  her  does  not  fully  meet  the  de- 
mand of  God's  requirements  in  the  divine  institu- 
tion. He  is  to  pledge  happiness  to  the  household. 
Yea,  he  is  to  bring  it.  And  from  this  moment 


120        LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

this  treasure  is  committed  to  the  wife.  If  she  keep 
it  and  care  for  it  as  she  can  and  ought,  she  may  ex- 
pect true  happiness.  If  honest  and  genuine,  her 
husband  will  keep  this  pledge  just  as  she  leads  him 
to  its  perpetuity. 

YOUR  LOVING  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XXIII. 

CONSECRATION. 

My  Dear  Niece  : — This  letter  will  embrace  some 
thoughts  upon  a  most  vital  subject  Indeed,  it  is 
one  of  great  moment,  character  and  force.  Among 
young  ladies  there  have  been  many  in  past  ages, 
and  there  are  many  to-day,  who  have  interpreted 
the  meaning  and  entered  into  the  experience  of 
consecrated  lives.  What  happiness,  what  useful- 
ness, have  beamed  forth  from  such  lives. 

"  Set  apart  to  a  sacred  purpose"  are  words  used 
by  a  great  and  good  man  to  define  true  consecration. 
Of  course,  you  will  need  to  study  and  give  atten- 
tion to  fully  comprehend  this.  It  is  true  that 
every  enterprise  and  pursuit  in  life  into  which  one 
enters  may  bear  the  marks  of  consecration.  But 
sacredness  may  not  be  written  upon  all.  Agricult- 
ure, and  the  mercantile  business,  art,  song  and 
various  phases  of  professional  life  may  be  conse- 
crated merely  in  a  secular  sense.  But  this  is  not 
what  I  mean  in  this  letter.  It  is  a  higher  and 
grander  pursuit  of  a  consecrated  life,  such  as  God 
will  honor  and  man  will  admire.  That  which  will 

place  talent,  time,  profession,  every  branch  of  busi- 

121 


122       LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADT. 

ness  and  property  under  contribution  to  subserve 
the  highest  moral  ends  of  benefit  to  our  fellowinen. 
With  the  powers  and  gifts  I  have  accorded  to 
women,  and  especially  young  womanhood,  in  for- 
mer letters,  do  you  wonder,  dear  Etha,  that  I  should 
desire,  earnestly  desire,  the  consecration  of  young 
ladies  ?  You  will  never  see  the  time  again  in  all 
your  life  when  consecration  will  be  more  easy, 
sweet  and  blessed,  and  accomplish  more  satisfying 
ends  to  bless  the  world  around  you.  Youth  is  the 
time  of  all  other  in  life  for  the  formation  of  char- 
acter and  habit.  Acquiring  a  lettered  education, 
learning  a  trade,  and  preparing  for  years  to  come 
in  the  pursuit  of  life's  duties,  are  considered  im- 
perative in  early  life.  Why,  then,  neglect  a  religiou  s 
and  moral  training  until  mature  years  ?  We  have 
too  much  notion  that  every  secular  interest  must 
be  attended  to  in  early  life,  and  the  consecration 
of  our  powers  in  the  sacred  "  further  on,"  and  per- 
adventure  in  old  age  if  we  chance  to  live  that  long. 
This  is  a  mistake.  It  is  all  wrong.  The  whole 
teaching  of  the  divine  code  is,  "Seek  ye  first  the!^, 
kingdom  of  God  and  his  righteousness,  and  all 
these  things  shall  be  added  unto  you."  Let  a  young 
lady  embrace  this  idea,  and  consecrate  her  heart, 
brain  and  faith  to  its  experience,  and  what  a  bright 
light  would  she  be  in  the  world.  How  her  days, 
weeks,  months  and  years  would  be  fraught  with  a 


CONSECRATION.  123 

satisfying  portion.  It  is  this  that  I  urge  upon  your 
consideration.  Your  every  power  should  be  laid 
upon  the  altar  of  consecration.  It  would  not  less- 
en at  all  your  joys,  but  rather  increase  them,  and 
the  benefit  to  yourself  and  others  would  be  tenfold. 
And  when  you  ask  me, 

"  Does  our  Creator  require  consecration  to 
him?" — I  am  filled  with  solemn  awe  on  the  one 
hand,  and  blissful  delight  on  the  other.  Solemn 
awe,  because  of  the  consequences  of  its  absence, 
and  blissful  delight  because  of  the  hopes  and  joys 
of  its  experience.  Who  could  love  God  or  be 
happy  with  him  forever  if  they  were  not  conse- 
crated to  him?  Surely  he  requires  this.  The  very 
existence  of  harmony  and  holiness  in  our  hearts 
depend  upon  this.  So  also  the  purity  of  our  words 
and  acts.  And  with  a  consciousness  of  this  in 
your  heart,  joy  would  be  your  portion,  daity,  and 
nightly.  Tour  very  looks,  words,  acts  and  life, 
would  be  admired  by  all.  This  is  the  assurance  of 
Jesus.  But  you  say,  many  profess  it,  but  do  not 
show  its  proof.  Just  so.  But  this  is  because  so 
many  get  the  notion  that  under  a  religious  profes- 
sion they  are  to  be  church  dolls,  and  have  nothing 
to  do  in  the  church  but  be  petted.  They  have  no 
idea  of  work  for  Christ  and  the  fallen.  To  follow 
the  fashions  of  society,  be  worldlings  and  profes- 
sional church  boarders.  Thousands  and  tens  of 


124:  LETTERS    TO    A    YOUNG    LADY. 

thousands  of  young:  ladies  appear  to  have  this  atti- 
tude. They  are  exceptions,  and  enough  to  lead 
the  van.  Under  this  leadership  let  consecration 
assert  her  sway,  and  the  whole  aspect  of  every 
community  will  change.  How  I  long  to  witness 
such  a  scene.  You  and  others  of  your  ranks  can 
do  much  to  hasten  this  millennial  dawn.  "Will  you 
do  it?  It  is  to  this  purpose  that  God  requires  your 
consecration. 

"  What  is  involved  in  a  full  and  satisfying 
consecration?" — I  think  I  can  show  you  by  a  few 
suggestions.  The  first  thing  to  be  observed  is,  a 
candid  canvass  of  its  worth,  merit  and  importance. 
You  can  give  attention  to  this  at  once.  It  is  worth 
your  while.  Do  it  the  first  thing.  And  when  you 
have  done  this,  just  as  true  as  you  wish  to  be  hap- 
py and  useful  while  you  live,  I  doubt  if  you  could 
even  wish  to  seek  a  substitute  for  this  course. 
Entering  this  "  valley  of  blessing  so  sweet,"  the 
ecstatic  joy  which  would  fill  your  soul  would  far 
outreach  any  earthly  vision  you  ever  knew.  Sec- 
ondly, be  careful  to  decide  wisely  for  this  \vorld, 
and  eternity.  Do  not  treat  that  word  "eternity  " 
lightly.  Thirdly,  enumerate  the  items  that  must 
be  included  if  it  is  successfully  made.  To  itemize 
this  matter  is  a  power  for  success  and  blessing. 
Intellect,  eyes,  voice,  heart,  hands,  feet,  influence, 
time,  friends,  property,  relation  to  the  church  and 


CONSECRATION.  125 

society,  all  these,  yea,  everything  upon  which  you 
can  put  estimate  in  the  inventory  of  your  being. 
Let  your  altar  be  unto  God  and  holiness.  Such  a 
consecration  will  be  divinely  sealed.  That  is  if 
you  believe  in  it  with  all  your  heart.  Faith  is  an  im- 
portant factor  in  power  and  experience.  You  must 
believe  in  it,  and  that,  too,  for  your  personal  life,  and 
God  will  bless  you. 

YOUR  AFFECTIONATE  UNCLE. 


LETTER  XXIY. 

SUNDAY-SCHOOL  TRAINING. 

My  Dear  Niece  : — I  want  to  ask,  Are  you  a 
Sunday-school  girl  ?  Not  do  you  attend,  but  do 
you  love  to  go,  and  are  you  enlisted  and  deeply 
interested  in  every  Sunday-school  enterprise  ?  If 
you  answer  in  the  affirmative,  I  have  to  say  it  is 
well  worth  your  while.  No  interest  is  superior 
to  this  in  the  welfare  of  men.  Of  course,  I  do 
not  mean  this  to  supersede  the  home  training. 
But  our  training  in  the  Sunday-school  has  a  bear- 
ing such  as  no  other  position  can  afford.  And  let 
me  tell  you,  that  whatever  part  others  may  take  in 
the  work,  young  ladies  are  filling  a  most  important 
place,  and  will  continue  to  do  so  more  and  more. 
Are  you  ready  for  the  emergency  of  the  hour  ? 
Do  you  realize  the  need  of  this  present  time,  and 
its  influence  upon  your  future  years  ? 

"  Do  we  ever  forget  our  Sunday-school  train- 
ing f  " 

ISTo,  never.  It  is  not  possible  in  the  nature  of 
the  case.  And,  just  here,  I  want  to  remind  you 
of  the  invariably  good  influence  of  the  Sunday- 
school.  Who  ever  heard  of  any  injury  coming 

126 


SUNDAY-SCHOOL  TRAINING.  127 

therefrom?  This  land  is  dotted  with  multitudes 
of  good  men  and  women  who  owe  what  they  are 
to  the  Sunday-school.  It  caught  them  up  while 
wandering  upon  the  broad  acres  of  temptation 
and  sin,  and  set  them  down  in  the  garden  of  the 
Lord.  And  there  they  live,  have  lived,  and  will 
still  live,  and  there  they  will  die,  leaving  fragrant 
memories,  such  as  the  world  would  never  have 
known  had  it  not  been  for  the  Sunday- school. 

"How  long  should  a  young  lady  attend  Sunday- 
school  f  "  Young  or  old,  as  long  as  she  lives.  In 
the  planning  of  this  institution,  the  divine  founder 
made  no  provision  for  graduation  or  diplomas.  It 
is  a  life  institution  as  much  as  the  home.  And  it 
is  a  mistaken  notion  that  as  soon  as  a  young  lady 
has  got  well  into  her  teens  she  is  above  the  privi- 
leges and  blessings  of  the  Sunday-school.  The 
very  object'  of  the  Sunday-school  forbids  this. 
"What  is  it?  It  is  a  place  to  acquire  a  knowledge 
of  the  Bible.  It  is  a  grand  place  for  this.  The 
very  best  outside  of  the  home.  The  home  is  first 
the  Sunday-school  next.  And  if  young  ladies  fill 
the  place  they  ought  in  the  Sunday-school,  they 
will  not  only  want  to  continue  as  far  as  possible, 
but  when  they  come  to  bear  the  responsibilities  of 
a  home  they  are  better  prepared  to  fulfill  its  duties. 
And  while  this  is  true  the  young  lady  should  make 
np  her  mind  never  to  withdraw  her  influence  and 


128         LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADY. 

presence  from  the  Sunday-school  while  life  shall 
last.  It  is  not  possible  for  a  mother  to  do  her 
work  of  moral  training  at  home  as  she  ought  if  she 
absent  herself  from  the  Sunday-school  where  her 
children  attend.  And  I  want  to  urge  you  to  em- 
ploy all  your  influence  to  stop  the  evil  habit  now 
very  prevalent,  of  young  people  leaving  the  Sun- 
day-school as  soon  as  they  are  married.  It  is  just 
then  that  they  need  this  training. 

"  Do  you  think  the  Sunday-school  gives  advan- 
tages not  to  be  found  elsewhere?" 

Certainly  it  does.  Not  a  position  is  there  any- 
where in  life  as  important  or  valuable.  The  value 
of  its  privileges  are  unexplainable,  nevertheless 
true.  And  millions  have  attested  this  fact.  Friends, 
friendship,  wealth,  and  honors  have  no  such  bearing 
upon  onr  lives. 

"  Would  you  advise  a  young  lady,  not  a  member 
of  the  church,  to  teach  in  the  Sunday-school?  " 

There  are  circumstances  in  which  I  would  advise 
her  to  do  so;  but  they  are  rare.  When  there  is  no 
other  one  to  be  found  who  can  or  will  teach,  and  a 
young  lady  can  be  found,  who,  although  not  a 
Christian,  is  intelligent  and  of  good  moral  stand- 
ing in  the  community,  I  would  give  her  a  class. 
But  with  the  admonition  that,  in  view  of  the  na- 
ture and  imporance  of  the  work,  it  is  her  duty  to 
at  once  give  her  heart  to  God.  I  have  known  some 


SUNDAY-SCHOOL  TRAINING.  129 

such  teachers  speedily  blessed.  But,  while  treating 
upon  this  point,  let  me  add  that  barely  uniting 
with  the  church  will  not  fit  a  young  lady  for  Sun- 
day-school work.  To  be  a  member  of  the  Sunday- 
school  is  one  of  the  most  responsible  positions  on 
earth.  It  is  like  laying  a  strong  foundation  for  a 
house.  With  a  hundred  and  sixty  odd  hours  in  the 
week  the  teacher  and  scholar  get  less  than  one  hour 
with  the  class.  What  preparation  of  heart  and 
brain  are  needful  for  the  task.  My  experience  and 
observation  has  been  that  young  ladies  have  more 
influence  in  Sunday-school  work  than  any  other 
class  of  persons.  And  how  immeasurably  would 
the  power  of  this  work  be  increased  if  all  the  young 
ladies  who  are  capable  would  engage  in  it. 

"  To  what  extent  will  the  Sunday-school  afford 
a  young  lady  proper  moral  training?" 

I  will  say  this  in  answer  to  your  question:  It 
must  be  vast,  to  say  the  least,  and  such  as  will  ever 
be  fraught  with  the  best  of  consequences. 
•  Not  an  avenue  of  all  her  life  will  she  tread  with- 
out feeling  its  power.  And  the  very  warp  and 
woof  of  this  training  will  exert  an  influence  upon 
her  and  upon  those  about  her  in  every  coming 
year. 

And  this  influence  has  ever  been  honored  of  God 
and  man. 

As  ever,  YOUB  UNOLB. 

I 


LETTER  XXY. 

A  TRUE  WOMAN. 

My  Dear  Niece: — Now  I  have  come  to  the  last 
letter  of  this  series  in  which  I  have  endeavored  to 
help  you  in  the  early  steps  of  life.  And  I  am  glad 
to  know  that  you  have  received  with  so  much  favor 
most  that  I  have  said.  I  know  I  have  said  much 
that  many  young  ladies  would  consider  an  over- 
drawn demand,  and  entirely  unsuited  to  the  life  of 
to-day.  While  still  others  would  admire  and  be 
profited  thereby.  But  if  I  did  not  believe  that 
these  letters  would  be  a  blessing,  I  would  not  even 
finish  these  closing  lines  about  true  womanhood. 
Much  that  I  have  written  before,  you  will  find  da- 
guerreotyped  here.  Line  upon  line  is  the  need  of 
the  hour.  As  the  driving  of  the  nail  to  build  the 
house  needs  blow  after  blow  to  give  it  a  strong  hold 
in  its  place,  so  in  the  framework  of  society,  every 
young  lady  needs  line  upon  line  of  instruction  and 
help  to  make  her  strong  in  her  place.  I  will  not 
say  that  true  women  are  rare  or  exceptional.  No, 
no,  they  are  many.  But  there  are  enough  girls 
now  living  to  multiply  them  a  hundred-fold. 

It  is  not  enough  for  a  woman  to  be  pure  in  char- 
acter, to  be  pure  in  life.  Something  more  is  needed, 

ISO 


A    TRUE    WOMAN.  131 

She  has  many  gifts,  and  many  sides  of  power  and 
influence.  And  all  these  must  fill  some  place 
among  men. 

"  In  what  does  true  womanhood  mostly  consist  f '' 
The  very  first  thought  of  a  girl  in  her  desires 
and  decisions  to  be  a  true  woman,  should  be  to  aim 
at  the  best  position  known  to  the  life  of  a  woman. 
As  with  our  great  men  who  have  frequently  come 
up  from  the  more  humble  walks  of  life,  BO  often  the 
women  who  have  become  great  lights  in  the  world, 
have  sprung  from  the  most  unpromising  places  and 
ranks  of  society.  The  brightest  gems  of  gold  come 
often  from  the  roughest  and  blackest  chunks  of 
stone  and  earth.  No  girl  need  of  necessity  consider 
herself  beneath  the  best  positions  of  her  sex  because 
she  is  lowly.  Cheap  calico  is  no  criterion  of  char- 
acter. But  if  she  comes  up  to  a  place  of  power, 
blessing  and  influence,  she  must  aim  at  it.  And  it 
will  pay  well  if  she  does.  No  other  can  elevate  her. 
She  must  come  up  herself.  Help  enough  she  will 
find  all  around  her,  but  to  attain  relies  upon  herself. 
Let  this  thought,  my  dear  Etha,  seize  upon  jour 
heart  and  find  anchorage  as  no  other  ever  has  for 
the  blessing  of  your  life.  Nor  would  I  be  under- 
stood to  encourage  the  girls  of  poverty  and  humble 
circumstances  alone.  But  of  all  classes.  In  homes 
of  affluence,  education  and  refinement,  are  many 
choice  girls.  All  of  these  are  not  true  women  by 


132  LETTERS  TO  A  YOUNG  LADT. 

any  means.  Indeed,  in  many  of  these  there  is  in 
various  forms  sin  in  high  life.  There  is  as  much 
need  of  aim  here  as  any  where.  Fathers,  mothers, 
neighbors,  friends,  wealth,  honor  and  surrounding 
in  the  world,  all  or  any  of  these  cannot  make  a  girl 
a  true  woman.  Whether  she  abound  in  wealth  or 
walk  in  poverty's  vale,  her  own  consecrated  ener- 
gies must  determine  her  traits  of  character  and  po- 
sitions of  womanhood. 

"  Will  a  true  woman  be  likely  to  neglect  relig- 
ion? "  No,  she  will  not.  Indeed,  she  can  not  do  so 
very  long  and  maintain  the  impulses,  powers  and 
influence  of  a  true  woman.  But  you  will  cast  your 
eye  around  as  you  read  this  and  say,  There  is  Mrs. 
So-and-So  who  is  not  a  Christian,  and  she  is  a  good 
woman.  Yery  likely.  But  many  a  woman  is  pure 
in  character  and  good  in  life  who  is  not,  in  a  high 
and  noble  sense,  true  to  herself  and  to  the  world, 
woman  as  God  made  her.  And  I  venture  that  you 
will  invariably  find  the  ideal  woman  you  have  set 
up  to  be  wanting  in  the  prime  sense  of  a  true  wo- 
man. More  or  less  the  moral  impulses  of  our  im- 
pressions recoil  within  us  at  the  idea  of  a  woman 
"without  God  and  without  hope  in  the  world." 
This  I  know  to  be  an  undeniable  fact,  however 
much  it  may  be  untold  and  unexplainable.  And 
indeed  I  believe  it  to  be  true  that  women  them, 
selves  feel  this,  and  often  to  a  very  great  degree. 


A  TRUE  WOMAN.  1  33 

"  Will  a  true  woman  be  sought  after  in  cultured 
society?  "  To  be  sure  she  will.  It  is  the  very  place 
where  she  will  be  greatly  admired.  Her  in- 
fluence and  life  will  be  appreciated  here  as  in  no 
other  circle.  The  notion  that  some  have  to  the 
contrary  is  a  mistake.  True  goodness  is  always 
the  handmaid  of  intelligence.  And  the  woman  that 
has  the  adornment  not  so  much  of  plated  gold  and 
outward  apparel,  but  the  vital  purity  and  trueness 
of  the  heart,  is  sought  after  and  admired.  But, 
mark  you,  there  may  be  some  in  circles  that  pro- 
fess culture  and  fashion  who  are  only  shams,  and 
could  no  more  be  happy  in  the  presence  of  a  true 
woman  than  would  a  bloated  drunkard  just  from 
the  gutter  be  pleased  with  himself  standing  before 
the  looking-glass.  As  amid  the  counterfeits  of  the 
world,  good  money  is  always  at  a  premium,  so  true 
character  is  always  highly  esteemed  by  the  best 
and  even  worst  of  men. 

"  Can  a  woman  be  true  to  herself  and  always 
carry  out  her  convictions  of  duty?  "  This  is  the 
very  place  where  her  trueness  will  shine  the  bright- 
est. Many  lack  courage,  but  the  world  admires 
integrity  and  devotion  to  the  right.  A  woman 
who  is  true  to  herself  will  be  likely  to  be  true  to 
others.  Such  the  world  will  admire.  And  further, 
the  convictions  of  such  a  person  would  be  likely  to 
tend  to  blessing  and  not  to  cursing.  Let  her  follow 

fJ  O 


134  LETTEES  TO    A  YOUNQ    LADY. 

these  convictions  of  duty,  and  her  character  will 
shine  as  no  tongue  can  tell.  Woman's  action,  with 
true  fidelity  to  her  convictions,  is  the  great  and  im- 
perative demand  of  our  age.  Children,  husbands 
and  homes  demand  it.  And  every  kind  of  reform 
is  sighing  for  it.  There  should  be  an  uprising  of 
the  girls  at  once  in  this  matter,  and  she  who  leads 
the  van  will  be  a  benefactor  to  herself  and  her 
race. 

"  What  will  be  ike  reward  of  a  true  woman*  " 
First  of  all,  a  deep  realization  of  having  shunned  a 
shadowy  path  and  lived  a  life  of  respect  and  bless- 
ing. And  besides  this,  which  can  but  bring  con- 
scious peace,  she  feels  the  approval  of  the  All-see- 
ing and  All-knowing  one.  This  is  worth  more 
than  rubies  and  affords  the  heart  joys  beyond  ex- 
pression. She  has  hope  of  blessedness  in  the  fu- 
ture state.  Not  a  hope  fostered  by  the  sham  of 
some  false  doctrine,  that  deceitfully  tells  her  to  live 
for  self  and  the  world,  be  a  devotee  of  pleasure  and 
fashion,  scatter  influence  that  can  only  debase  the 
morals  of  those  around  her,  treat  the  path  of  un- 
satisfying thoughts,  words  and  deeds  unto  the  end, 
and  then  step  into  ineffable  glory.  No,  no.  But 
that  hope  of  faith,  trust  in  Jesus,  which  has  led 
her  along  the  way  of  self-renunciation  and  whole 
reliance  upon  him  for  eternal  life,  which  has  led 
her  to  fill  up  her  many  years  to  instruct  the  ig- 


A   TRUE    WOMAN.  135 

norant,  feed  the  poor,  clothe  the  naked,  comfort  the 
sorrowing,  lead  the  blind,  teach  the  children,  soothe 
wounded  hearts  and  scatter  roses  in  her  pathway 
every  day,  week,  month  and  year  of  her  life.  A 
hope  that  welcomes  death,  that  hails  with  joy  the 
second  coming  of  the  Lord  from  heaven,  and  bids 
the  portals  of  the  celestial  city  give  her  an  abun- 
dant entrance  into  a  heaven  of  promised  glory. 
YOUB  AFFECTIONATE  UNCLB 


